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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 2, 2008 20:25:52 GMT -5
ROTFLMAO! I have no words... just laughter at the moment. *wipes eyes*
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Post by Terra on Jun 2, 2008 20:36:59 GMT -5
Wow... I've joined the party late... welcome to the board Shawn!! Thanks for the welcome, Chrissy. I already love it around here. I'm also forming a boy band called "Retail" and I heard you're a greast singer in and out of the shower. Here's my idea. You, me, Kim, Terra, and Cat can each where black slacks and white shirts, but each of us will wear a vest from a department store. You can be Wallmart, Kim will be K-mart, I'll be Best Buy, Terra can be Jewls/Osco, and Cat can be Circuit City. We'll be the collest thing MTV ever heard of and debut our album "Can I Checkout Your Love" sometime next year. I think our smooth soulful country christian rock pop music will take America by storm. Just imagine perfoming some of our hit single's like "Can I Get a Price Check On Your Heart" and "Love in Aisle 6" and "My Store's Always Open For You." See Chrissy, you offered me a welcome, but I offer you a career of teeny bopper fans, tons of cash, and a gimmic that just can't fail!! S!!!!!! *hums in his Best Buy vest* The store might close at 9, but my hearts always open to you... The sale might end on the 10, but my hearts always open to you... ailse 11 might need a cleanup, but my hearts always pen to you... Ummm, can i just be the back up dancer... i dont have much of a voice!!! I might scare all your fans off!!! Plus with the drinking.. I could forget the words... then of course with the stealing gas someone may recognize me and get me arrested. So a place in the back is good for me!!!! ;D |
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lilsmiles
Time Force Ranger
Resident Crazy Person
Posts: 631
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Post by lilsmiles on Jun 2, 2008 20:39:35 GMT -5
Noooooo! Retail's breaking up already?!?!  Well, it was bound to happen with all the Sunny D binge drinking and the excessive amounts of cereal being snorted... I guess I can wait for the reunion tour... Eventually you'll need to make money again... I mean, as Shawn already mentioned... Gas is mucho expensivo... For "My Store's Always Open For You" alone, your album was so worth the $0.89 that I paid... And we can't forget this memorable classic... Who says that we have to be apart... You know it's true... We'll cruise down the aisles side by side... On a shopping cart built for twoooooooooo... You guys will be back... You know you'll miss the groupies screaming to have your babies...  |
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Post by Terra on Jun 2, 2008 20:42:31 GMT -5
Damn we already broke up.... where was I... DRINKING I guess!! LMAO
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shawn30
Wild Force Ranger
~* King of TK *~
Cookies!!!!
Posts: 185
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Post by shawn30 on Jun 2, 2008 20:47:10 GMT -5
Thanks for the welcome, Chrissy. I already love it around here. I'm also forming a boy band called "Retail" and I heard you're a greast singer in and out of the shower. Here's my idea. You, me, Kim, Terra, and Cat can each where black slacks and white shirts, but each of us will wear a vest from a department store. You can be Wallmart, Kim will be K-mart, I'll be Best Buy, Terra can be Jewls/Osco, and Cat can be Circuit City. We'll be the collest thing MTV ever heard of and debut our album "Can I Checkout Your Love" sometime next year. I think our smooth soulful country christian rock pop music will take America by storm. Just imagine perfoming some of our hit single's like "Can I Get a Price Check On Your Heart" and "Love in Aisle 6" and "My Store's Always Open For You." See Chrissy, you offered me a welcome, but I offer you a career of teeny bopper fans, tons of cash, and a gimmic that just can't fail!! S!!!!!! *hums in his Best Buy vest* The store might close at 9, but my hearts always open to you... The sale might end on the 10, but my hearts always open to you... ailse 11 might need a cleanup, but my hearts always pen to you... Ummm, can i just be the back up dancer... i dont have much of a voice!!! I might scare all your fans off!!! Plus with the drinking.. I could forget the words... then of course with the stealing gas someone may recognize me and get me arrested. So a place in the back is good for me!!!! ;D Terra, without our resident Saturday Night Fungirl and gas theif, where would we be? "Retail" needs you. Who but you could croon the soulful chorus to "My Love Isn't Printed on a Coupon" or wrench the hearts of our fans on your solo hit "After-Work Drinks On Me." Your singing voice is just fine. When we all hop into Kim's pink 1986 A-Team van we need petro and its a gas guzzler. The way you steal that black oil/Texas tea ala Beverly Hillbillies we need you to tour America. Who's gonna bail out Cathy when she goes on one of her all-night male strip club bunges and gets arrested for fondeling the dancers? Who's gonna stop Chrissy from wrestling midgets? Who's going to help me sell Kimonade Blueberry Rush on suburb street corners? And who will stop Kim from stalking a certain SPD male actor? We love you like a fat kid loves cake and require your skills of gasoline theif to help this group sell millions of albums so that I can live my lifelong dream of having a house that is on Mtv's Cribs!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!! Shawn |
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Post by Terra on Jun 2, 2008 20:50:29 GMT -5
Ummm, can i just be the back up dancer... i dont have much of a voice!!! I might scare all your fans off!!! Plus with the drinking.. I could forget the words... then of course with the stealing gas someone may recognize me and get me arrested. So a place in the back is good for me!!!! ;D Terra, without our resident Saturday Night Fungirl and gas theif, where would we be? "Retail" needs you. Who but you could croon the soulful chorus to "My Love Isn't Printed on a Coupon" or wrench the hearts of our fans on your solo hit "After-Work Drinks On Me." Your singing voice is just fine. When we all hop into Kim's pink 1986 A-Team van we need petro and its a gas guzzler. The way you steal that black oil/Texas tea ala Beverly Hillbillies we need you to tour America. Who's gonna bail out Cathy when she goes on one of her all-night male strip club bunges and gets arrested for fondeling the dancers? Who's gonna stop Chrissy from wrestling midgets? Who's going to help me sell Kimonade Blueberry Rush on suburb street corners? And who will stop Kim from stalking a certain SPD male actor? We love you like a fat kid loves cake and require your skills of gasoline theif to help this group sell millions of albums so that I can live my lifelong dream of having a house that is on Mtv's Cribs!!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE!! Shawn I wont Leave Ya'll ever!!!! Retail Forever BABY!!!!! And if you really want me to sing then I suppose the dogs will howl with me! And that really why you want me around, so I can steal the gas so we can make it from gig to gig...HUH!?!?! LMAO |
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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 2, 2008 20:51:30 GMT -5
*perks up* MALE STRIPPERS?! WHERE?!
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Post by Terra on Jun 2, 2008 20:56:00 GMT -5
Down girl....Down! LMAO
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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 2, 2008 20:58:13 GMT -5
Can't help it!! I see one that looks like DB! *faints*
*shawn breaks out the smelling salts*
*stands up and looks around again*
DAMN! There's one that looks like CV, QUICK, WHERE'S KIM?!
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Post by Kim on Jun 2, 2008 21:07:01 GMT -5
1 - Don't let me near Jose....he and I are really good friends and I don't need to be slurring my words or screaming for CV to take my body with a bunch of children around *smirks*
2 - Male strippers? CAT! HOW COULD YOU! I WANNA PLAY TOOOOOO!!!! *waves around her monthly payment of dollar bills from Cat*
3 - Yes, the van gas guzzles, and Terra, your singing can't be any worse than my screwed up voice. I use to pull of Mariah Carey manuvers with my voice and now I can't...we'll howl with the dogs together!
4 - Ladies, we cannot, i repeat, CANNOT, let Shawn get an ego over the fan girls throwing their panties at him in hopes of getting more HAWT TK stuff...however, throwing panties at him for HAWT SS is allowed....(JUST KIDDING! HAWT TK! HAWT SS!)
5 - If we run out of gas at Midnight in some backwards ass county in the middle of Timbucktoo...I vote Shawn pushes the van to the nearest gas station.....while us girls drool over CV and JDF.
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Post by Kim on Jun 2, 2008 21:11:05 GMT -5
Ladies, and Shawn of course, we now have a road Manager - *points to Megan* - and a head of Security - *points to Angel* They work for kimade, crack, and pictures of hot guys...
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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 2, 2008 21:13:14 GMT -5
1. No Jose for Kim -check.
2. Hey, I wasn't playing without you! Why do you think I was running around like a crazy person, screaming, asking where you were?! LOL Once I saw the CV lookalike, I knew you had to be there. 
3. Well, I'm sure we can turn the sound down on your mics (mine too! lol), so that it's not too loud, and we'll just make sure Shawn's and Chrissy's are turned up louder... *nods* that should work. Don't worry, we'll figure it out.
4. Keep Shawns' ego in check -check. I think between us we can handle that. *smirk*
5. Hell yeah he's going to push! LMAO
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enigmaforum
Turbo Ranger
*Is still a rockstar*
Posts: 52
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Post by enigmaforum on Jun 2, 2008 21:17:38 GMT -5
Yes I am head of road managing, you obviously need me to stop the binge drinking and male strippage before a gig. As well as the going gaga over JDF and CV. Don't you all worry, Retail will be making all of us millionaires within the next year. I predict you're the best thing to happen to the world since sliced bread.
Oh and I work for alone time with Robert Pattinson, Jonas Armstrong, or Richard Brancatisano. I'll take the Kimade and Crack but yeah..those three will do, alone or in any combo of themselves.
And despite what Angela may say Jonas and Robert are MINE I claimed them long ago. There will be a war if I must reclaim them. Anyone wanna join my army?
*promises mucho amounts of Kimade and allowing you to stalk JDF and CV if you do*
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shawn30
Wild Force Ranger
~* King of TK *~
Cookies!!!!
Posts: 185
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Post by shawn30 on Jun 2, 2008 21:18:55 GMT -5
Noooooo! Retail's breaking up already?!?! Well, it was bound to happen with all the Sunny D binge drinking and the excessive amounts of cereal being snorted... I guess I can wait for the reunion tour... Eventually you'll need to make money again... I mean, as Shawn already mentioned... Gas is mucho expensivo... For "My Store's Always Open For You" alone, your album was so worth the $0.89 that I paid... And we can't forget this memorable classic... Who says that we have to be apart... You know it's true... We'll cruise down the aisles side by side... On a shopping cart built for twoooooooooo... You guys will be back... You know you'll miss the groupies screaming to have your babies... Have no fear, Rach. Our reunion album, "Reopening The Love Store" will hit store shelves this fall with hits like... 1. Do You Want a Two-For-One deal? 2. Commitments and Coupons Go Hand in Hand 3. I'll work Over-time for your Love 4. You Can't Put My Love on Layaway 5. The Next Line is Open, Baby (Kim and the BackStreet Boys) 6. Ten Inches of Love (Shawn and Beyonce) 7. Don't You Dare Leave This Store With My Heart (Terra solo sober) 8. Don U Dare Leeve This Sto Wit Mi Hurt (Terra solo drunk) 9. Sexy in Aisle 11 (Cathy featuring Usher, Marc Anthony, Frank Sinatra, and Willie Nelson) 10. I Just Started Working Here (Your love got me up at 9:00 AM) (Chrissy solo) So as you can see, we have a big year ahead. Retail is back in buisness!!! |
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nm4ever
Wild Force Ranger
Posts: 199
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Post by nm4ever on Jun 2, 2008 21:22:24 GMT -5
Y'all might wanna trust Kim on the whole Jose bit.....her and words not making sense=major HUGE badness! Now megan on the other hand............*grins*
Cat, you're forgetting everyone?!?! That's wrong....wait a second! No wonder you're not saying anything; who would actually WANT to share strippers? I hope you don't have CV over there, because then Kim would run us all over in a hurry to see that hotness.
Don't worry, Terra, I'm not the best singer in the world either. It's okay, I'll stand back there with you.
I second that vote, Kim! Not sure if Shawn would be 100% down with that, though.
And why wasn't I included in "Retail"? I noticed that Dillard's wasn't mentioned, which makes me sad. Any chance that I could have that one?
I love my payment options, but is there any way that I could split the crack payments with M&M's too? At this rate, I'll need those to pay Shawn.
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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 2, 2008 21:24:33 GMT -5
OMG having Usher (*drools*), Frank Sinatra, and Willie sing with me, was the biggest honor, let me tell you. When they appear during our concerts, it's gonna kill! The fans are gonna love it. *nods* Yep, the world ain't seen nothing like the Retail Reunion Tour!
RETAIL FOREVER BABY!!!
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Post by Kim on Jun 2, 2008 21:27:48 GMT -5
Dude, I just got the concert venue list!
We're hitting up every major department store from Macy's and Bloomingdales in New York to Harrods in London and back again!
*looks over at her wardrobe* We need a shopping trip, I don't trust fashion experts to dress me, they tend to put me in clothes that make my non-existent butt look even more non-existent....and my boobs are already small enough too......hmmmmmm....I'm getting implants with my portion of the cash!
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shawn30
Wild Force Ranger
~* King of TK *~
Cookies!!!!
Posts: 185
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Post by shawn30 on Jun 2, 2008 21:38:49 GMT -5
Y'all might wanna trust Kim on the whole Jose bit.....her and words not making sense=major HUGE badness! Now megan on the other hand............*grins* Cat, you're forgetting everyone?!?! That's wrong....wait a second! No wonder you're not saying anything; who would actually WANT to share strippers? I hope you don't have CV over there, because then Kim would run us all over in a hurry to see that hotness. Don't worry, Terra, I'm not the best singer in the world either. It's okay, I'll stand back there with you. I second that vote, Kim! Not sure if Shawn would be 100% down with that, though. And why wasn't I included in "Retail"? I noticed that Dillard's wasn't mentioned, which makes me sad. Any chance that I could have that one? I love my payment options, but is there any way that I could split the crack payments with M&M's too? At this rate, I'll need those to pay Shawn. !!!!!! MAJOR BREAKING NEWS!!! "Retail" adds a new member! Angela, former checkout girl at Dillards has signed a twelve album deal with "Kimonade Records" to join the multi-times platnium recording group "Retail" Angela's smash hit solo cut "Your Love Is Like a Half Off Sale" is sweeping the nation. Her first official song with the band is titled "Car Pool Orgy" for the "Sex in the City" sountrack. Previous reports of Angela's road rage cases, specifically the one where she beat a old man with a roll of salami for cutting her off in traffic are things of the past as she embarks on her new singing career. We wish her well. Associated Press |
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Post by Kim on Jun 2, 2008 21:42:29 GMT -5
See, I told you, she acts innocent, but she's not.....beating old men with Salami...tsk tsk
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nm4ever
Wild Force Ranger
Posts: 199
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Post by nm4ever on Jun 2, 2008 21:51:06 GMT -5
Yes I am head of road managing, you obviously need me to stop the binge drinking and male strippage before a gig. As well as the going gaga over JDF and CV. Don't you all worry, Retail will be making all of us millionaires within the next year. I predict you're the best thing to happen to the world since sliced bread. Oh and I work for alone time with Robert Pattinson, Jonas Armstrong, or Richard Brancatisano. I'll take the Kimade and Crack but yeah..those three will do, alone or in any combo of themselves. And despite what Angela may say Jonas and Robert are MINE I claimed them long ago. There will be a war if I must reclaim them. Anyone wanna join my army? *promises mucho amounts of Kimade and allowing you to stalk JDF and CV if you do* WHOA!!!!!!!!! Okay, let's just stop right there, chica! You may have Richard, but Jonas is MINE! We've dealt with this before, and you wouldn't want to piss off the head of security! (To all those of you who don't know, Jonas Armstrong is the newest male to play Robin Hood on the show Robin Hood that airs on BBC America. You HAVE to watch it!). Now back to the next matter at hand....Robert Pattinson. Him you can have, but Edward Cullen, he is MINE MINE MINE! As for a war, this is between you and me, but if they have to choose sides, I'll give them pretty much anything that they want a.k.a. there are pretty much no limitations on what they can have if they have to choose a side and they choose mine! (Another side note: Edward Cullen is the hottie in the books by author Stephenie Meyer that are amazing! If you haven't read them, I highly recommend them!) If the books and the new series of Robin Hood weren't good, then I wouldn't be suggesting them. Unfortunately, both are incredibly addicting and have the "He/She would die for him/her" thing going on, which makes them sad at times! |
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nm4ever
Wild Force Ranger
Posts: 199
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Post by nm4ever on Jun 2, 2008 21:55:01 GMT -5
See, I told you, she acts innocent, but she's not.....beating old men with Salami...tsk tsk Kim, I AM innocent! I really don't know how that very very thin pillow ended up covered in subway sandwich wrappers and how it ended up in my hands and me hitting him! I didn't do it! I have an evil twin who may or may not have escaped because of the stupid people. I told them to stay away from the door, but they wouldn't listen! Also, you don't need surgery. You look great! We just need to make sure that we have a whole entourage of employees waiting for us at every boutique that we decide to go to, that's all! |
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lilsmiles
Time Force Ranger
Resident Crazy Person
Posts: 631
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Post by lilsmiles on Jun 2, 2008 22:55:58 GMT -5
Wow, we seem to have all the breaking news happening at this thread!!!! ;D
Hooray for the newest addition to Retail!!!!!!
AND super hooray for the reunion album!!! I hear iTunes is interested! I'm sure it'll go paper... screw gold or platinum.
My current fav is track 8! Go Terra!!! It's my new drinking song! LOL!
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rapunzl
Wild Force Ranger
Icon courtesy of our lovely and utterly fantabulous Kim!
Posts: 189
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Post by rapunzl on Jun 3, 2008 12:22:26 GMT -5
Wow. After reading all the above, part of me is now a little afraid to say hello!
I do think this thread might be just as interesting as the other stuff on this site...
... even if I can only understand about half of it. ;D
Needless to say, cool website. I was drawn in by Cathy's ff.net profile and haven't left since.
*ducks behind a handy cardboard palm tree... just to be safe*
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Post by Kim on Jun 3, 2008 12:27:42 GMT -5
rapunzl, there is no hiding behind cardboard palm trees *reaches out and grabs you and pulls you into the spotlight* Everyone say hello! And yeah, understanding some of us is a little frightening at times...if you manage it, know that your other friends and family members may end up sending you to the psych ward for a while....
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MHB15
Wild Force Ranger
Syd & Sky 4ever!!!!!!!!
Posts: 153
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Post by MHB15 on Jun 3, 2008 12:48:42 GMT -5
Shawn, I'm gonna tell you something.... YOU'RE SOOOOOOOO COOOOOLLLL!!!! Lol. I can't believe Kim told you that! It's a secret.... But yeeah, I've held up one or two (a lot of) day care centers but SHUSH.. Don't tell...  |
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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 3, 2008 13:59:56 GMT -5
WELCOME RAPUNZL!! I'm so glad that you said hello even if we have scared you. LOL
 I'm afraid the cardboard palm tree won't help you much around here... Kim's pretty good at tracking people down. She's had too much training from certain a Blue Ranger (or rather, practice tracking down certain a Blue Ranger LOL).
Anyway, hope you enjoy our little insanity, and will join right in. We're only slightly crazy around here. *keeps straight face as long as possible* And welcome, again.
And Mabel, Kim's good at blurting out secrets... *glares at Kim* She can't keep anything secret for long.
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rapunzl
Wild Force Ranger
Icon courtesy of our lovely and utterly fantabulous Kim!
Posts: 189
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Post by rapunzl on Jun 3, 2008 14:30:36 GMT -5
Kim, funny story about a psych ward... I was once in the hospital for an extended period of time after a major car wreck. One of my friends came to visit me, but took a wrong turn near the hospital... and wandered into the nearby mental hospital instead. Before they managed to sort it out, he had gotten all the workers in an uproar because they thought they were missing a patient.
So maybe I do belong here after all... ;D
I can't say I'm particularly talented at writing (too shy to post/finish anything) or art (my sister stole all those genes!), but I'll be happy to comment on everyone else's abundance of greatness!
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Post by Kim on Jun 3, 2008 16:01:07 GMT -5
*scratches head and stares at Cat* What secrets have I leaked lately? I only do that when Jose and I have become acquainted and I haven't seen Jose since New Years!
As far as track down a certain Blue Ranger....I have radar when it comes to his hot ass...I can't help it....I also can't help it if the boy actually remembered who I was after nearly two years *sticks out her tongue*
Mental hospital.....EVERYONE SCATTER! *rushes off to hide*+
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lilsmiles
Time Force Ranger
Resident Crazy Person
Posts: 631
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Post by lilsmiles on Jun 3, 2008 16:57:54 GMT -5
*walks in in a white coat*
Ooops, sorry, it's a lab coat... really, honestly... I'M NOT CRAZY!!!
Welcome, Rapunzl!! We're all very sane... It's the outside world, they're the wackos... At least that's what the voices inside my head always tells me ;D
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Post by ~*Cathy*~ on Jun 3, 2008 18:16:07 GMT -5
I didn't say anything about "recently" leaking secrets... I just said you were good at it. LOL I mean, how many secrets has Shawn inadvertantly let slip that you told about in this thread? 
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I'm afraid the cardboard palm tree won't help you much around here... Kim's pretty good at tracking people down. She's had too much training from certain a Blue Ranger (or rather, practice tracking down certain a Blue Ranger LOL).
