Post by White Firebird on Mar 30, 2009 22:41:41 GMT -5
Title: Nightmares In Green
Author: White Firebird
Rating: T
Timeframe: Three months after the Green Candle saga
Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. If I did, I'd move it back to America and make every kid in the world watch it. Muwahaha.
Author's Notes: I came up with this idea whilst watching season one the other day, namely the 'Crystal Of Nightmares' episode. We all saw what happened to the team then. I've always wondered what Tommy's fears and nightmares would consist of. It starts, as stated above, three months after the Green Candle story and leads up to 'Return Of An Old Friend'. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. Here goes nothing!
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Nightmares In Green
Chapter 1: Tommy's Anguish
Tommy Oliver looked out at the sky from his parents roof and let a sigh escape from his lips as the sun began to fade away for the day. It had been exactly three months since everything came crashing down upon him, leaving him alone, helpless and empty. He had tried for many days, weeks even, to get a grasp on what exactly went wrong, why this had happened to him, and how to cope with the end result. He still couldn't figure out what went wrong. There was no explanation as to why this happened to him. And he wasn't coping.
Three months ago, the Green Ranger powers were taken away from him.
At first, he had taken it as a blessing in disguise. He figured could go back to his normal life, a life that had been turned upside down when the evil sorceress, Rita Repulsa, turned him into her personal weapon of destruction in her never-ending war against the Power Rangers and their leader, Zordon. For the longest time, as the evil Green Ranger, Tommy destroyed a lot of Angel Grove all by himself and with the help of his own personal Zord, the Dragonzord. He nearly ridded the universe of Zordon. He came oh so close to killing off the five people he now considers his closest and best friends; Jason, the Red Ranger; Billy, the Blue Ranger; Trini, the Yellow Ranger; Zack, the Black Ranger; and Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. It wasn't until his last battle under Rita's spell with Jason that the Sword Of Darkness, the device that kept him under Rita's evil control, was destroyed, and the spell was broken.
At first, though very briefly, he resisted Jason's urges for him to join the team, the guilt of his actions too much to bear. But he eventually caved and decided to join the team, Zordon and his robotic assistant, Alpha 5, welcoming him into the family with open arms and open hearts. Slowly, but surely, Tommy felt the guilt ebbing away with each good deed he did while in full control of the Green Ranger powers, whether it be coming in at the last second with his beloved and faithful Dragonzord to get the Rangers and their Megazord out of a bind, or helping his friends with their dilemma's. One such case was when he took it completely upon himself to rebuild Kimberly's model float for the peace parade after it was wrecked by some Putty Patrollers. It was thought to have been beyond repair, but he took it to his garage, and with a little help from Alpha, Tommy completely restructured the original design and got it in on time for the parade makers to build, much to the delight of Kimberly. He felt good about himself after every battle won, he felt like he could finally put the past behind him if he kept it up. And holding the power was a good excuse to spend more time around Kimberly.
Yes, sweet Kimberly. Out of the five of them, she had been the first one to reach out to him, to welcome him to Angel Grove, the first one to want to be his friend. He was forever grateful that she showed him, a total stranger at that point, such genuine kindness, that he just knew he had to get to know her better. And even when he was under Rita's spell, she never once gave up on him, never lost her faith in him. He had grown attracted to her from the moment he laid eyes on her, and from what the gang had told him, she had become smitten with him as well. Their was obviously something between the two of them, but neither of them acted upon it. And by the time Tommy had finally acted on it...it was too late.
Today was the day he lost his powers, three months ago. Tomorrow would be the day that he asked Kimberly to the dance and had their first kiss, three months ago. And ever since the dance, that magical night, where they shared their second kiss and their first dance...he had disappeared. Since that night, he had not spoken to anyone of them, and deep down, while he knew that by distancing himself from his friends and from Kimberly wasn't a good thing, he felt it was for the best that they forgot about him and forgot about the Green Ranger. Sure, he went to Power Rangers Day, which was last week, and he even shook hands with them while they were in costume, but he showed up, watched, and then left without saying a word. At school, he avoided them at all costs. He stopped going to the Youth Center and practicing there, opting to practice in the more secluded areas of the park by himself. Any calls for him at his home from them were ignored and disregarded. He trashed their e-mail's. He left the letters they sent unopened. He had completely cut them out of his life, and every day it pained him to do so more than the last day.
What made it near excruciating for him was the fact that he left Kimberly hanging out to dry like that. Officially or unofficially, they were an item, a couple almost. Boyfriend and girlfriend. And while part of Tommy wanted to believe that she had moved on and found someone to be a better boyfriend than he could ever be, for the most part, he was led to believe that she missed him deeply every day. And truth be told, he missed her a lot. He missed her laugh, her smile, her brown hair, her eyes. He missed the way she could make you feel good about yourself even if you were having the worst of days. And he missed fighting by her side. More times than not, whenever she found herself in a jam, she wouldn't call for Jason or Zack to help her; she'd call for Tommy, and he'd willingly come to her rescue every time, her own knight in shining green and gold armor. Every day, he wanted to pick up the phone and find the courage to call her, to speak to her, hear her voice again. But every time he would, he would put the phone back down and walk away. His pride, the voice in his head that was telling him that the team was better off without him, that they needed to let the Green Ranger become a memory, wouldn't let him call her. And he hated himself for it.
He took losing his powers as a blessing in disguise. But it turned out that it was no blessing. It was a curse. Having no powers, not feeling the rush of morphing or being able to call upon the Dragonzord left him feeling useless. He missed every part of being the Green Ranger. But his coin, his Dragonzord and his Dragon Dagger were safely in Jason's posession, his last act as a member of the team, transferring his powers to Jason before Rita got them back due to that damn Green Candle. If he had never touched that wax when under her spell, none of this would have ever happened. He wouldn't be sitting here, on his parents roof, moping about the past. He'd be with Jason, Zack, Trini, Billy and Kimberly right now, having fun and saving the world from evil forces. But he did touch the wax. And she turned it into that candle. And when the candle burned out, so did he.
Standing up and making his way down the roof to the grass in his backyard below, he groaned, muttering to himself, "No use in crying over spilled milk. What happened has happened. I just have to move on and try to let it all fade away." He slid down the last few rungs of his father's ladder before taking it and putting it back in his shed. Upon exiting the shed and making his way up the steps leading to the back door, he heard his mother say something, but he wasn't sure if it was directed at him or his father. Then he heard the doorbell ring, and his mother's voice came in clearer this time around as Tommy washed and cleaned his hands.
"Tommy, are you expecting someone tonight?", his mother, Melissa asked him from downstairs in the family room.
"No, why?", he asked simply as the doorbell rang again, making his way towards it, not knowing what would be awaiting him on the other side.
"Because, I think it's Jason and the rest of your friends", she said, as she continued to flip through the channels, taking a moment to glance out the window downstairs to see if her suspicions were correct.
Tommy immediately stopped just short of the door and stared at it, his hand extended towards the doorknob as the bell rang for the third time. He heard multiple muffled voices on the other side, that he just knew belonged to Jason and the gang. He wanted nothing more than to turn around right now and march up to his room, to tell his father that he wasn't home. But his body had frozen and he couldn't find himself being able to move. Fourth time the doorbell rang. Now they were knocking on the door. Tommy had a choice to make, and he had to make it fast. But before he could reach that conclusion, he heard his father, Frank's, footsteps coming from his bedroom upstairs to the downstairs, walking by his adoptive son and giving him a stern look before unlocking the lock and twisting the doorknob.
"What's the matter with you, Tommy? Don't you hear the doorbell ringing? It's your friends, answer the door and speak to them, for chrissakes!", he reprimanded as Tommy didn't say or do anything. The last thing he wanted was to speak to the five of them. He just wanted to be left alone in his little, pathetic world. Why did his friends have to be such caring individuals? Why did they have to be so compassionate and kind? Why did they always feel the need to look out for one another like one big family? Couldn't they just accept the fact that he liked to be a lone wolf? His legs finally found the strength to work again, but before he could bolt to his room and lock himself in there, his father had already opened the door and greeted the five of them. "Damn it", Tommy thought to himself. "I'm too late", he added as he stared, emotionless, at the door, his father moving away so that his son could speak to his friends.
It was the first time he had made eye contact with them in three months, excluding Power Ranger day last week. They all looked so...jovial. Jason, the leader of the group, dressed in red and white, front and center. Flanking him to the right was Billy in his usual blue suspenders and checkered shirt, the fading sun reflecting off his glasses, with Zack behind him, in black and yellow, laughing it up about some joke he just made. And to his left was Trini, in all yellow, playing with the hem of her shirt as her long dark hair flowed softly in the light breeze, with Kimberly behind her, her brown hair tied into pigtails, wearing a pink sundress with combat boots, laughing at Zack's joke. They were one big, happy family. They had been a family long before he came and tried to fit in. Yet they still cared for him as if they were one of their own. Tommy wasn't one of them, he thought. He nearly killed them, destroyed them because he allowed himself to be manipulated and controlled so easily. He couldn't understand how they still liked him after all he had done to them.
The six friends stared at each other for a few moments, nobody saying a word. It was awkward for all of them, considering the circumstances. Finally, Jason coughed and cleared his throat and went ahead and broke the ice and the tension. "So bro, you gonna let us in or you just gonna stare at us?"
Tommy couldn't find the words to go with what he was thinking. And what he was thinking was how he wished they would just go away. He wished they would just leave him alone and let him and his long-since-gone powers fade away into obscurity, where they belonged together. Naturally though, what he was thinking didn't translate into what he said. "No. I think I'm fine right here", Tommy said cooly, instantly kicking himself internally for such a rude comment. If his mother had heard him say that, she'd of kicked his ass right there on the spot. Hell, if he could, he'd kick his own ass for that. The confused looks on their faces didn't help his cause any, either. "So, does that mean we have to stay out here, Tommy?", Jason asked as he dug his hands into his pockets, everyone else behind him remaining silent, as if waiting for Tommy's confirmation to be allowed in. Sensing that if this went any longer, he'd either really alienate them or his parents would notice them all standing outside, chide their son and let them in. So, deciding against the latter and swallowing a bit of his pride, he slowly stepped forward and opened the pane glass door, motioning with his head to come in and take a seat on the couches in the living room. Letting the five of them file in and closing the door behind him softly, he turned to face his friends, unmorphed, for the first time since the day the Green Candle had burned it's last flame. Three months ago he was riding high with them, saving the world and having the time of their young, teenage lives. Now, Tommy was a shell of himself, coiling up into his protective shell and refusing to let anyone in or help. It was a stupid choice, but it was his choice to make.
Jason and Zack were sitting on the main couch near the coffee table, arms stretched out across the back of it. Billy had taken refuge on the recliner that his father would always sit in and read the paper whenever he felt like having some alone time. And Trini and Kimberly sat together on the love seat his mother had purchased a month ago. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a chair from there, bringing it back into the living room and sitting down in the middle so that he could face all five of them. Tommy remembered how they would all come here sometimes after school and do exactly this, just hang around and talk, and have fun. It was eerie how close this came to those good times spent together.
Placing the chair down so that it was facing the opposite way around, Tommy sat down and crossed his arms, laying them on the top of the chair, looking each of them in the eye, before his gaze rested on Kimberly. Being in such close proximity to her, Tommy just wanted to break down emotionally and start telling her how sorry he was for just ditching her like he had when he knew she obviously had feelings for him. He hated the fact that he might have possibly broken her heart, seeing as he was, according to her, her first 'real crush' and not to mention, her first 'real kiss' as well. He cursed himself for leaving her in the cold like that, and truth be told, he felt that way about Jason, Trini, Billy and Zack as well; they had all been great friends to him. Zack was the one who nudged him towards asking Kim out to the dance and was always a joyful person to be around; Trini was always helping him out with any school work he didn't quite understand and she always always lending a helping hand or giving great advice; Billy was the smartest one of them all, and Tommy would find himself fascinated with the many different things Billy knew about, when he understood what he was saying, that is. He joked that he'd have to bring a dictionary with him and translate what Billy said every time he used his techno speak; and then there was Jason, the one in the group with whom he had grown closest to besides Kimberly. The two were best friends in every sense of the word, but now Tommy seriously doubted that Jason wanted to be his friend after the way he had fallen off the face of the planet since losing his powers, and it brought Tommy back to one question. They had every reason to hate, dislike, abhor him and his presence. Why did they care so much about how he felt and how he was doing? It was a question he might never get answered, but it always intrigued him as to why the five of them liked him as much as they did.
Having found the ability to speak coherently again, Tommy coughed and cleared his throat, garnering their attention. "So, uh...what uh, brings you guys to these, uh, neck of the woods?", he managed to stammer out of his vocal chords before he quickly shut up again and let them have the floor.
"We just wanted to see how you were doing, man. It's been too long since we all talked and hung out together. Gotta admit man, we all got a little worried about you", Jason said calmly, Billy, Zack, Trini and Kimberly all nodding their heads in unison. "Whenever one of us call here, you're never around. I'll send you an e-mail and get no response. One of us will send a letter through snail mail, and we never hear back. We don't even see you at school or Ernie's anymore. What's the matter, bro? Why've you been so secretive? Did one of us do something wrong? Or does this, you know", Jason whispered, lowering his voice as to not raise suspicion. "Is this about the candle?"
Tommy's insides felt like they had just been through the ringer four times in a row with no immediate end in sight. Though he would never admit the fact that Jason's questions were killing him on the inside, nor would he ever show it, he couldn't help but cringe inwardly and feel like even more of an ass for his childish actions and irresponsible way of going about things. The candle didn't even scratch the tip of the iceberg for him. He so wanted to tell Jason that no, none of them had done anything wrong, that he's been secretive because of his stupid pride, and that if they could forgive him for his transgressions, everything would be fine in the world of Tommy Oliver. But he couldn't say those things. He couldn't bring himself to do so because of said stupid pride. So instead of saying what he was thinking, this is what he came up with; "Everything's fine. There's no need to worry about me. I've been keeping myself busy lately. And I'm over the candle."
The five of them looked at each other and knew that, to be blunt, Tommy was full of bullcrap. He knew he was full of bullcrap. He was just hoping they didn't pick up on it and would stop the questioning, but then again, his friends here weren't normal people. They moonlighted as a multi-colored super human fighting force, fighting evil and saving the world, not to mention their mentor was an interdimensional being locked in a time warp and his assistant was a robot who sometimes has the tendencies of a five year old child. All of this while juggling their school work, extra curricular activites and their jobs as well. And to think, he was a part of that group too, not so long ago. So of course they were able to sniff the crap in Tommy's words when he spoke them. They were just nice about it. "Tommy, listen to me", began Trini as she crossed one of her legs, her free leg hanging over the couch as she spoke softly and calmly, like only she could. "You can't keep beating yourself up over things that you had no control over. We forgive you. You were under Rita's spell, we know you didn't mean to do all of those things. She made you do things you never would have normally done. We understand how you feel an immense amount of guilt because of it, and that's understandable, but Tommy, please, you gotta stop blaming yourself for those actions. We all want you to just be happy."
"Yeah man", added Zack. "I mean, that was ages ago. The people have forgiven the Green Ranger and come to like him, even when he's not around anymore. We're your friends, man. We're here for you whenever you need us to be."
Tommy sighed, his insides twisting around again. They all took their turn to speak to him, to reach out and plead with him to be the old Tommy they knew when he was still part of the group and in possesion of the power. They spoke their words, but he didn't hear them; he was too busy thinking about what could have been, had the Green Candle not burnt out. He'd probably be spending every day with Kimberly, talking, laughing, enjoying each other's company. He'd probably be honing his martial arts skills and practicing with Jason and Zack. And he'd probably be getting lessons in time management and remembering things from Billy and Trini, because as it stood, he was just awful when it came to remembering things and being on time. Kim and Trini joked that he had a 'swiss cheese memory', and the inside joke stuck, eventually making it's way to the guys. It wasn't until Kimberly spoke that Tommy paid attention to what any of them were saying. He quickly began to wonder if she'd hate him for leaving her like that. If she did, he deserved every bit of it. But he was surprised to find that she didn't hate him. Why? He wanted her to hate him, he wanted her to make him feel bad for his actions....why was she being kind to him at a time like this?
"Tommy, I know that what happened to you was so horrible, and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. I'm sorry that we couldn't save the candle from burning out, and I know that you don't blame us, and don't hate us for it. But I just want to let you know that I don't hate you for disappearing like you have. None of us do. I know that, yeah, I probably should, but in the short amount of time that I've known you, Tommy, you have been nothing short of a good person. You're a good friend, too. I know we weren't anything serious, we weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend, I think, and I understand if you don't want to be in a relationship with me. But we were friends first, and well, your friendship would mean a lot to me. Please Tommy, don't lock yourself away from us. We just want to help."
"Oh Kim...", Tommy thought to himself as he glanced at her. "If you only knew what I really thought and how I really feel, then you'd understand." From the moment he laid eyes on her in the hall that day in school, getting Bulk and Skull to leave her alone, he thought he heard the heavens speak to him. Cheesy and cliche, yes, but it was true. He thought that love at first sight didn't exist, that it was just some made up stuff from a fairy tale. He was wrong, however, the moment saw her. There was just something so....captivating about her presence. He had to learn to like her at first, no easy feat considering the feelings he had for her, but as the time they spent together grew longer, he allowed himself to love her. His feelings were only given even more hope when he had gone to Jason, his best friend and Kim's 'big brother' figure, and told him of them. He went into the talk thinking Jason would tell him to get lost, or say that Kim just wasn't his type, something like that. But yet, to Tommy's surprise, Jason laughed and said that if he had feelings for his little sister, then he had better act on them quickly. He couldn't believe that Jason approved of his feelings for her, but he took that and thanked Jason for being understanding.
Then he lost his powers a week later. And ever since the dance, he hadn't been the same.
He came to his senses and saw that they were staring at him, as if waiting for him to respond to a question they had asked him. He shook his head and cursed himself for being do neglectful, but hey, it wasn't the first time, and it probably wouldn't be the last time, Tommy reasoned with himself. "I'm sorry guys, I uh...spaced out for a second." He gave them an apologetic smile, hoping they would disregard that and continue to be their cheery selves.
They didn't.
"Did you even listen to a word any of us said?", asked Jason, the tone in his voice evident that he was starting to get pissed off. "We've been trying to tell you that we miss having you around man, and you're just 'spacing out' ? What gives?", he said rather fiercly, a little too fierce for Tommy's taste, but he deserved that too.
"No, really, I'm sorry. Listen, guys...I understand...you wanting to see if I'm doing ok. I appreciate it", he said, half lying and half telling the truth. "But there's just nothing that you need to get worked up over. I'm the same I was after the spell was broken, and I've been the same since the candle died. I've just been....busy, is all. I hope you understand."
He had been busy, alright. Busy separating himself from his friends, among other things. So he wasn't completely lying to them, but that didn't make him feel any better about himself or how he was handling it. If they kept it up, Tommy's carefully constructed barriers were going to come crashing down, and he couldn't allow that. He had made his bed, so now he had to lie in it. The look on Jason's face was suspicious, while everyone else was unsure that Tommy had been telling them the truth. If anyone was going to find out the real truth, it would be Jason, and Tommy wouldn't...no, he couldn't allow that. His pride wouldn't be able to take it. Letting a small sigh escape his lips before any of them could speak, Tommy stood up from his chair and walked over to the front door, unlocking it. He wasn't saying it, but he didn't need to; he wanted the five of them to leave. If this didn't say that he didn't deserve their friendship and companionship, then he didn't know what would. "I've uh...I've got things to do, guys. I'm sorry to be cutting our talk here so short, but I need to get started on my school work and then prep myself for my class tomorrow morning...."
Once again, he wasn't completely lying, but it didn't matter. He was trying to send them a message, a message that said that he needed to be left alone so he could wallow in his pity and not drag them down with him. He wanted his normal life back, however painful it was to live it. Jason sighed and rolled his eyes, Zack shook his head, Billy couldn't understand what was going on, Trini didn't make eye contact and Kim...the look on her face was pleading with Tommy to let them all back in. Oh, how he wanted to just kiss her right there and tell her, reassure her that everything would be fine and that their new-found relationship would work out.
But that was just a pipe dream that he stopped chasing the day after the dance.
"Yeah, right. We should probably get going ourselves. We're going to Billy's uncle's resort up in the mountains for the weekend to study for the big science test on Monday. You should try and visit us after your class, maybe you could use the help too", Jason offered, though he had a feeling he already knew the answer he'd get before it even came out of his mouth. Tommy shook his head and Jason's answer was confirmed; he was avoiding them, yet again."I would, but I've got a tournament I'm taking place in on Saturday afternoon, and it runs through Sunday night. I wish I could, but...you know me and my martial arts, Jase."
"Yeah, I know it all too well", he muttered to himself, Tommy picking up on it but deciding not to say anything; he deserved that as well. The five of them stepped out of the house and back onto the front steps, facing their former friend in green, who was holding the door and had a solemn look on his face. "I'm glad we uh....glad we had this talk. It was nice. Thanks for uh...thanks for stopping by and caring...", Tommy murmured as Jason nodded his head slowly and dug his hands into his pocket, sighing.
"Yeah. Maybe we'll do this again when another three months have passed", Jason spoke as he turned away and walked down the steps, the shocked looks on Zack, Trini, Kim and Billy's faces not going unnoticed by Tommy as he closed his eyes and didn't respond; he really deserved that. Closing the door and locking it, he began to walk up to his room when his mother called out again.
"Tommy, do your friends want to stay for dinner?", Melissa called out from the downstairs.
"No, Mom....something tells me I won't be seeing them for a long time", he said softly as he entered his room and closed the door. Walking over to his window, he looked out at the five of them packing into Jason's truck, still catching the sad look on Kim's face as she took her place in the front seat. He saw Jason and Trini place a consoling hand on each shoulder, no doubt telling her that everything would work out, that Tommy would come around in the end. Billy and Zack did the same thing, the four of them trying to cheer their friend in pink up. He wished he was with them right now, putting his arm around Kimberly and whispering sweet nothings in her ear, listening to her giggle and smelling her perfume...Tommy was madly in love with her, and it showed. He laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, the good times him and Kimberly shared before he went his separate way playing out in his head as his eyes suddenly became heavy, and he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his lips, the girl he loved on his mind and in his heart.
It was the last time Tommy Oliver would dream good thoughts for quite some time.
Author: White Firebird
Rating: T
Timeframe: Three months after the Green Candle saga
Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers. If I did, I'd move it back to America and make every kid in the world watch it. Muwahaha.
Author's Notes: I came up with this idea whilst watching season one the other day, namely the 'Crystal Of Nightmares' episode. We all saw what happened to the team then. I've always wondered what Tommy's fears and nightmares would consist of. It starts, as stated above, three months after the Green Candle story and leads up to 'Return Of An Old Friend'. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it. Here goes nothing!
************
Nightmares In Green
Chapter 1: Tommy's Anguish
Tommy Oliver looked out at the sky from his parents roof and let a sigh escape from his lips as the sun began to fade away for the day. It had been exactly three months since everything came crashing down upon him, leaving him alone, helpless and empty. He had tried for many days, weeks even, to get a grasp on what exactly went wrong, why this had happened to him, and how to cope with the end result. He still couldn't figure out what went wrong. There was no explanation as to why this happened to him. And he wasn't coping.
Three months ago, the Green Ranger powers were taken away from him.
At first, he had taken it as a blessing in disguise. He figured could go back to his normal life, a life that had been turned upside down when the evil sorceress, Rita Repulsa, turned him into her personal weapon of destruction in her never-ending war against the Power Rangers and their leader, Zordon. For the longest time, as the evil Green Ranger, Tommy destroyed a lot of Angel Grove all by himself and with the help of his own personal Zord, the Dragonzord. He nearly ridded the universe of Zordon. He came oh so close to killing off the five people he now considers his closest and best friends; Jason, the Red Ranger; Billy, the Blue Ranger; Trini, the Yellow Ranger; Zack, the Black Ranger; and Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. It wasn't until his last battle under Rita's spell with Jason that the Sword Of Darkness, the device that kept him under Rita's evil control, was destroyed, and the spell was broken.
At first, though very briefly, he resisted Jason's urges for him to join the team, the guilt of his actions too much to bear. But he eventually caved and decided to join the team, Zordon and his robotic assistant, Alpha 5, welcoming him into the family with open arms and open hearts. Slowly, but surely, Tommy felt the guilt ebbing away with each good deed he did while in full control of the Green Ranger powers, whether it be coming in at the last second with his beloved and faithful Dragonzord to get the Rangers and their Megazord out of a bind, or helping his friends with their dilemma's. One such case was when he took it completely upon himself to rebuild Kimberly's model float for the peace parade after it was wrecked by some Putty Patrollers. It was thought to have been beyond repair, but he took it to his garage, and with a little help from Alpha, Tommy completely restructured the original design and got it in on time for the parade makers to build, much to the delight of Kimberly. He felt good about himself after every battle won, he felt like he could finally put the past behind him if he kept it up. And holding the power was a good excuse to spend more time around Kimberly.
Yes, sweet Kimberly. Out of the five of them, she had been the first one to reach out to him, to welcome him to Angel Grove, the first one to want to be his friend. He was forever grateful that she showed him, a total stranger at that point, such genuine kindness, that he just knew he had to get to know her better. And even when he was under Rita's spell, she never once gave up on him, never lost her faith in him. He had grown attracted to her from the moment he laid eyes on her, and from what the gang had told him, she had become smitten with him as well. Their was obviously something between the two of them, but neither of them acted upon it. And by the time Tommy had finally acted on it...it was too late.
Today was the day he lost his powers, three months ago. Tomorrow would be the day that he asked Kimberly to the dance and had their first kiss, three months ago. And ever since the dance, that magical night, where they shared their second kiss and their first dance...he had disappeared. Since that night, he had not spoken to anyone of them, and deep down, while he knew that by distancing himself from his friends and from Kimberly wasn't a good thing, he felt it was for the best that they forgot about him and forgot about the Green Ranger. Sure, he went to Power Rangers Day, which was last week, and he even shook hands with them while they were in costume, but he showed up, watched, and then left without saying a word. At school, he avoided them at all costs. He stopped going to the Youth Center and practicing there, opting to practice in the more secluded areas of the park by himself. Any calls for him at his home from them were ignored and disregarded. He trashed their e-mail's. He left the letters they sent unopened. He had completely cut them out of his life, and every day it pained him to do so more than the last day.
What made it near excruciating for him was the fact that he left Kimberly hanging out to dry like that. Officially or unofficially, they were an item, a couple almost. Boyfriend and girlfriend. And while part of Tommy wanted to believe that she had moved on and found someone to be a better boyfriend than he could ever be, for the most part, he was led to believe that she missed him deeply every day. And truth be told, he missed her a lot. He missed her laugh, her smile, her brown hair, her eyes. He missed the way she could make you feel good about yourself even if you were having the worst of days. And he missed fighting by her side. More times than not, whenever she found herself in a jam, she wouldn't call for Jason or Zack to help her; she'd call for Tommy, and he'd willingly come to her rescue every time, her own knight in shining green and gold armor. Every day, he wanted to pick up the phone and find the courage to call her, to speak to her, hear her voice again. But every time he would, he would put the phone back down and walk away. His pride, the voice in his head that was telling him that the team was better off without him, that they needed to let the Green Ranger become a memory, wouldn't let him call her. And he hated himself for it.
He took losing his powers as a blessing in disguise. But it turned out that it was no blessing. It was a curse. Having no powers, not feeling the rush of morphing or being able to call upon the Dragonzord left him feeling useless. He missed every part of being the Green Ranger. But his coin, his Dragonzord and his Dragon Dagger were safely in Jason's posession, his last act as a member of the team, transferring his powers to Jason before Rita got them back due to that damn Green Candle. If he had never touched that wax when under her spell, none of this would have ever happened. He wouldn't be sitting here, on his parents roof, moping about the past. He'd be with Jason, Zack, Trini, Billy and Kimberly right now, having fun and saving the world from evil forces. But he did touch the wax. And she turned it into that candle. And when the candle burned out, so did he.
Standing up and making his way down the roof to the grass in his backyard below, he groaned, muttering to himself, "No use in crying over spilled milk. What happened has happened. I just have to move on and try to let it all fade away." He slid down the last few rungs of his father's ladder before taking it and putting it back in his shed. Upon exiting the shed and making his way up the steps leading to the back door, he heard his mother say something, but he wasn't sure if it was directed at him or his father. Then he heard the doorbell ring, and his mother's voice came in clearer this time around as Tommy washed and cleaned his hands.
"Tommy, are you expecting someone tonight?", his mother, Melissa asked him from downstairs in the family room.
"No, why?", he asked simply as the doorbell rang again, making his way towards it, not knowing what would be awaiting him on the other side.
"Because, I think it's Jason and the rest of your friends", she said, as she continued to flip through the channels, taking a moment to glance out the window downstairs to see if her suspicions were correct.
Tommy immediately stopped just short of the door and stared at it, his hand extended towards the doorknob as the bell rang for the third time. He heard multiple muffled voices on the other side, that he just knew belonged to Jason and the gang. He wanted nothing more than to turn around right now and march up to his room, to tell his father that he wasn't home. But his body had frozen and he couldn't find himself being able to move. Fourth time the doorbell rang. Now they were knocking on the door. Tommy had a choice to make, and he had to make it fast. But before he could reach that conclusion, he heard his father, Frank's, footsteps coming from his bedroom upstairs to the downstairs, walking by his adoptive son and giving him a stern look before unlocking the lock and twisting the doorknob.
"What's the matter with you, Tommy? Don't you hear the doorbell ringing? It's your friends, answer the door and speak to them, for chrissakes!", he reprimanded as Tommy didn't say or do anything. The last thing he wanted was to speak to the five of them. He just wanted to be left alone in his little, pathetic world. Why did his friends have to be such caring individuals? Why did they have to be so compassionate and kind? Why did they always feel the need to look out for one another like one big family? Couldn't they just accept the fact that he liked to be a lone wolf? His legs finally found the strength to work again, but before he could bolt to his room and lock himself in there, his father had already opened the door and greeted the five of them. "Damn it", Tommy thought to himself. "I'm too late", he added as he stared, emotionless, at the door, his father moving away so that his son could speak to his friends.
It was the first time he had made eye contact with them in three months, excluding Power Ranger day last week. They all looked so...jovial. Jason, the leader of the group, dressed in red and white, front and center. Flanking him to the right was Billy in his usual blue suspenders and checkered shirt, the fading sun reflecting off his glasses, with Zack behind him, in black and yellow, laughing it up about some joke he just made. And to his left was Trini, in all yellow, playing with the hem of her shirt as her long dark hair flowed softly in the light breeze, with Kimberly behind her, her brown hair tied into pigtails, wearing a pink sundress with combat boots, laughing at Zack's joke. They were one big, happy family. They had been a family long before he came and tried to fit in. Yet they still cared for him as if they were one of their own. Tommy wasn't one of them, he thought. He nearly killed them, destroyed them because he allowed himself to be manipulated and controlled so easily. He couldn't understand how they still liked him after all he had done to them.
The six friends stared at each other for a few moments, nobody saying a word. It was awkward for all of them, considering the circumstances. Finally, Jason coughed and cleared his throat and went ahead and broke the ice and the tension. "So bro, you gonna let us in or you just gonna stare at us?"
Tommy couldn't find the words to go with what he was thinking. And what he was thinking was how he wished they would just go away. He wished they would just leave him alone and let him and his long-since-gone powers fade away into obscurity, where they belonged together. Naturally though, what he was thinking didn't translate into what he said. "No. I think I'm fine right here", Tommy said cooly, instantly kicking himself internally for such a rude comment. If his mother had heard him say that, she'd of kicked his ass right there on the spot. Hell, if he could, he'd kick his own ass for that. The confused looks on their faces didn't help his cause any, either. "So, does that mean we have to stay out here, Tommy?", Jason asked as he dug his hands into his pockets, everyone else behind him remaining silent, as if waiting for Tommy's confirmation to be allowed in. Sensing that if this went any longer, he'd either really alienate them or his parents would notice them all standing outside, chide their son and let them in. So, deciding against the latter and swallowing a bit of his pride, he slowly stepped forward and opened the pane glass door, motioning with his head to come in and take a seat on the couches in the living room. Letting the five of them file in and closing the door behind him softly, he turned to face his friends, unmorphed, for the first time since the day the Green Candle had burned it's last flame. Three months ago he was riding high with them, saving the world and having the time of their young, teenage lives. Now, Tommy was a shell of himself, coiling up into his protective shell and refusing to let anyone in or help. It was a stupid choice, but it was his choice to make.
Jason and Zack were sitting on the main couch near the coffee table, arms stretched out across the back of it. Billy had taken refuge on the recliner that his father would always sit in and read the paper whenever he felt like having some alone time. And Trini and Kimberly sat together on the love seat his mother had purchased a month ago. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a chair from there, bringing it back into the living room and sitting down in the middle so that he could face all five of them. Tommy remembered how they would all come here sometimes after school and do exactly this, just hang around and talk, and have fun. It was eerie how close this came to those good times spent together.
Placing the chair down so that it was facing the opposite way around, Tommy sat down and crossed his arms, laying them on the top of the chair, looking each of them in the eye, before his gaze rested on Kimberly. Being in such close proximity to her, Tommy just wanted to break down emotionally and start telling her how sorry he was for just ditching her like he had when he knew she obviously had feelings for him. He hated the fact that he might have possibly broken her heart, seeing as he was, according to her, her first 'real crush' and not to mention, her first 'real kiss' as well. He cursed himself for leaving her in the cold like that, and truth be told, he felt that way about Jason, Trini, Billy and Zack as well; they had all been great friends to him. Zack was the one who nudged him towards asking Kim out to the dance and was always a joyful person to be around; Trini was always helping him out with any school work he didn't quite understand and she always always lending a helping hand or giving great advice; Billy was the smartest one of them all, and Tommy would find himself fascinated with the many different things Billy knew about, when he understood what he was saying, that is. He joked that he'd have to bring a dictionary with him and translate what Billy said every time he used his techno speak; and then there was Jason, the one in the group with whom he had grown closest to besides Kimberly. The two were best friends in every sense of the word, but now Tommy seriously doubted that Jason wanted to be his friend after the way he had fallen off the face of the planet since losing his powers, and it brought Tommy back to one question. They had every reason to hate, dislike, abhor him and his presence. Why did they care so much about how he felt and how he was doing? It was a question he might never get answered, but it always intrigued him as to why the five of them liked him as much as they did.
Having found the ability to speak coherently again, Tommy coughed and cleared his throat, garnering their attention. "So, uh...what uh, brings you guys to these, uh, neck of the woods?", he managed to stammer out of his vocal chords before he quickly shut up again and let them have the floor.
"We just wanted to see how you were doing, man. It's been too long since we all talked and hung out together. Gotta admit man, we all got a little worried about you", Jason said calmly, Billy, Zack, Trini and Kimberly all nodding their heads in unison. "Whenever one of us call here, you're never around. I'll send you an e-mail and get no response. One of us will send a letter through snail mail, and we never hear back. We don't even see you at school or Ernie's anymore. What's the matter, bro? Why've you been so secretive? Did one of us do something wrong? Or does this, you know", Jason whispered, lowering his voice as to not raise suspicion. "Is this about the candle?"
Tommy's insides felt like they had just been through the ringer four times in a row with no immediate end in sight. Though he would never admit the fact that Jason's questions were killing him on the inside, nor would he ever show it, he couldn't help but cringe inwardly and feel like even more of an ass for his childish actions and irresponsible way of going about things. The candle didn't even scratch the tip of the iceberg for him. He so wanted to tell Jason that no, none of them had done anything wrong, that he's been secretive because of his stupid pride, and that if they could forgive him for his transgressions, everything would be fine in the world of Tommy Oliver. But he couldn't say those things. He couldn't bring himself to do so because of said stupid pride. So instead of saying what he was thinking, this is what he came up with; "Everything's fine. There's no need to worry about me. I've been keeping myself busy lately. And I'm over the candle."
The five of them looked at each other and knew that, to be blunt, Tommy was full of bullcrap. He knew he was full of bullcrap. He was just hoping they didn't pick up on it and would stop the questioning, but then again, his friends here weren't normal people. They moonlighted as a multi-colored super human fighting force, fighting evil and saving the world, not to mention their mentor was an interdimensional being locked in a time warp and his assistant was a robot who sometimes has the tendencies of a five year old child. All of this while juggling their school work, extra curricular activites and their jobs as well. And to think, he was a part of that group too, not so long ago. So of course they were able to sniff the crap in Tommy's words when he spoke them. They were just nice about it. "Tommy, listen to me", began Trini as she crossed one of her legs, her free leg hanging over the couch as she spoke softly and calmly, like only she could. "You can't keep beating yourself up over things that you had no control over. We forgive you. You were under Rita's spell, we know you didn't mean to do all of those things. She made you do things you never would have normally done. We understand how you feel an immense amount of guilt because of it, and that's understandable, but Tommy, please, you gotta stop blaming yourself for those actions. We all want you to just be happy."
"Yeah man", added Zack. "I mean, that was ages ago. The people have forgiven the Green Ranger and come to like him, even when he's not around anymore. We're your friends, man. We're here for you whenever you need us to be."
Tommy sighed, his insides twisting around again. They all took their turn to speak to him, to reach out and plead with him to be the old Tommy they knew when he was still part of the group and in possesion of the power. They spoke their words, but he didn't hear them; he was too busy thinking about what could have been, had the Green Candle not burnt out. He'd probably be spending every day with Kimberly, talking, laughing, enjoying each other's company. He'd probably be honing his martial arts skills and practicing with Jason and Zack. And he'd probably be getting lessons in time management and remembering things from Billy and Trini, because as it stood, he was just awful when it came to remembering things and being on time. Kim and Trini joked that he had a 'swiss cheese memory', and the inside joke stuck, eventually making it's way to the guys. It wasn't until Kimberly spoke that Tommy paid attention to what any of them were saying. He quickly began to wonder if she'd hate him for leaving her like that. If she did, he deserved every bit of it. But he was surprised to find that she didn't hate him. Why? He wanted her to hate him, he wanted her to make him feel bad for his actions....why was she being kind to him at a time like this?
"Tommy, I know that what happened to you was so horrible, and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. I'm sorry that we couldn't save the candle from burning out, and I know that you don't blame us, and don't hate us for it. But I just want to let you know that I don't hate you for disappearing like you have. None of us do. I know that, yeah, I probably should, but in the short amount of time that I've known you, Tommy, you have been nothing short of a good person. You're a good friend, too. I know we weren't anything serious, we weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend, I think, and I understand if you don't want to be in a relationship with me. But we were friends first, and well, your friendship would mean a lot to me. Please Tommy, don't lock yourself away from us. We just want to help."
"Oh Kim...", Tommy thought to himself as he glanced at her. "If you only knew what I really thought and how I really feel, then you'd understand." From the moment he laid eyes on her in the hall that day in school, getting Bulk and Skull to leave her alone, he thought he heard the heavens speak to him. Cheesy and cliche, yes, but it was true. He thought that love at first sight didn't exist, that it was just some made up stuff from a fairy tale. He was wrong, however, the moment saw her. There was just something so....captivating about her presence. He had to learn to like her at first, no easy feat considering the feelings he had for her, but as the time they spent together grew longer, he allowed himself to love her. His feelings were only given even more hope when he had gone to Jason, his best friend and Kim's 'big brother' figure, and told him of them. He went into the talk thinking Jason would tell him to get lost, or say that Kim just wasn't his type, something like that. But yet, to Tommy's surprise, Jason laughed and said that if he had feelings for his little sister, then he had better act on them quickly. He couldn't believe that Jason approved of his feelings for her, but he took that and thanked Jason for being understanding.
Then he lost his powers a week later. And ever since the dance, he hadn't been the same.
He came to his senses and saw that they were staring at him, as if waiting for him to respond to a question they had asked him. He shook his head and cursed himself for being do neglectful, but hey, it wasn't the first time, and it probably wouldn't be the last time, Tommy reasoned with himself. "I'm sorry guys, I uh...spaced out for a second." He gave them an apologetic smile, hoping they would disregard that and continue to be their cheery selves.
They didn't.
"Did you even listen to a word any of us said?", asked Jason, the tone in his voice evident that he was starting to get pissed off. "We've been trying to tell you that we miss having you around man, and you're just 'spacing out' ? What gives?", he said rather fiercly, a little too fierce for Tommy's taste, but he deserved that too.
"No, really, I'm sorry. Listen, guys...I understand...you wanting to see if I'm doing ok. I appreciate it", he said, half lying and half telling the truth. "But there's just nothing that you need to get worked up over. I'm the same I was after the spell was broken, and I've been the same since the candle died. I've just been....busy, is all. I hope you understand."
He had been busy, alright. Busy separating himself from his friends, among other things. So he wasn't completely lying to them, but that didn't make him feel any better about himself or how he was handling it. If they kept it up, Tommy's carefully constructed barriers were going to come crashing down, and he couldn't allow that. He had made his bed, so now he had to lie in it. The look on Jason's face was suspicious, while everyone else was unsure that Tommy had been telling them the truth. If anyone was going to find out the real truth, it would be Jason, and Tommy wouldn't...no, he couldn't allow that. His pride wouldn't be able to take it. Letting a small sigh escape his lips before any of them could speak, Tommy stood up from his chair and walked over to the front door, unlocking it. He wasn't saying it, but he didn't need to; he wanted the five of them to leave. If this didn't say that he didn't deserve their friendship and companionship, then he didn't know what would. "I've uh...I've got things to do, guys. I'm sorry to be cutting our talk here so short, but I need to get started on my school work and then prep myself for my class tomorrow morning...."
Once again, he wasn't completely lying, but it didn't matter. He was trying to send them a message, a message that said that he needed to be left alone so he could wallow in his pity and not drag them down with him. He wanted his normal life back, however painful it was to live it. Jason sighed and rolled his eyes, Zack shook his head, Billy couldn't understand what was going on, Trini didn't make eye contact and Kim...the look on her face was pleading with Tommy to let them all back in. Oh, how he wanted to just kiss her right there and tell her, reassure her that everything would be fine and that their new-found relationship would work out.
But that was just a pipe dream that he stopped chasing the day after the dance.
"Yeah, right. We should probably get going ourselves. We're going to Billy's uncle's resort up in the mountains for the weekend to study for the big science test on Monday. You should try and visit us after your class, maybe you could use the help too", Jason offered, though he had a feeling he already knew the answer he'd get before it even came out of his mouth. Tommy shook his head and Jason's answer was confirmed; he was avoiding them, yet again."I would, but I've got a tournament I'm taking place in on Saturday afternoon, and it runs through Sunday night. I wish I could, but...you know me and my martial arts, Jase."
"Yeah, I know it all too well", he muttered to himself, Tommy picking up on it but deciding not to say anything; he deserved that as well. The five of them stepped out of the house and back onto the front steps, facing their former friend in green, who was holding the door and had a solemn look on his face. "I'm glad we uh....glad we had this talk. It was nice. Thanks for uh...thanks for stopping by and caring...", Tommy murmured as Jason nodded his head slowly and dug his hands into his pocket, sighing.
"Yeah. Maybe we'll do this again when another three months have passed", Jason spoke as he turned away and walked down the steps, the shocked looks on Zack, Trini, Kim and Billy's faces not going unnoticed by Tommy as he closed his eyes and didn't respond; he really deserved that. Closing the door and locking it, he began to walk up to his room when his mother called out again.
"Tommy, do your friends want to stay for dinner?", Melissa called out from the downstairs.
"No, Mom....something tells me I won't be seeing them for a long time", he said softly as he entered his room and closed the door. Walking over to his window, he looked out at the five of them packing into Jason's truck, still catching the sad look on Kim's face as she took her place in the front seat. He saw Jason and Trini place a consoling hand on each shoulder, no doubt telling her that everything would work out, that Tommy would come around in the end. Billy and Zack did the same thing, the four of them trying to cheer their friend in pink up. He wished he was with them right now, putting his arm around Kimberly and whispering sweet nothings in her ear, listening to her giggle and smelling her perfume...Tommy was madly in love with her, and it showed. He laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, the good times him and Kimberly shared before he went his separate way playing out in his head as his eyes suddenly became heavy, and he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his lips, the girl he loved on his mind and in his heart.
It was the last time Tommy Oliver would dream good thoughts for quite some time.