Post by shawn30 on Jan 9, 2009 0:06:58 GMT -5
Title: "Leave Out All The Rest"
Written by: Shawn
(1/1)
Summary: Death bed amends...
Category: Drama/Angst
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Tommy Oliver, Kimberly Hart
Disclaimer: Disney owns everything PR related.
Authors Notes: This was written for the "Perfect Chemistry" January Fic Prompt. If you're interested in a really good Tommy/Kim shipper forum with many TK authors and readers, visit my author profile for the link. Even though its Tommy/Kim, Sky/Syd centric, there's plenty of general PR talk, tons of PR art work and manips, as well as a whole lot of fun.
Authors Notes 2: The fic prompt was for the Linkin Park song "Leave Out All the Rest" Lyrics will be posted at the end of the story.
Artwork by: Liz the Amazing
~~~~~~
"Why are you weeping? Did you imagine that I was immortal?"
~~Louis XIV (1638-1715), Well known French king, as his servants cried for.
"I don't know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to
have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself
now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than the
ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before
me.
~~ Isaac Newton, great Christian Scientist.
"Go away...I'm all right."
~~ H. G. Wells
~~~~~~~
******
******
The Florida Hospital Cancer Institute
Located inside Winter Park Memorial Hospital
Kimberly Hart's room
Room 558
200 North Lakemont Avenue
Saturday, June 17, 6:00 PM 1997
Winter Park, FL
She had a visitor.
With the ever-present noise of her ventilator nearby, Kimberly Hart immediately knew it was Tommy Oliver standing solemnly outside her hospital room the moment her eyes lifted to the door's window. The familiar set of his shoulders told her everything she needed to know. After ushering Jason off back to his hotel two hours ago, her ex-boyfriend was the next tallest person she knew, and the shadow cast behind the door wouldn't fit anyone else. She'd know him anywhere, and that particular fact greatly lifted her mood.
Suddenly, it was irrational to her the way she tried to sit up straight in bed. She actually looked for a mirror for a brief moment until she remembered how she didn't like what she saw these days. But it was Tommy about to walk into the room and see her for the first time in nearly two years. She recalled when they were dating how fussy she always was over her hair and make-up. How outfits were strewn all over
her bed before she chose the right one for their date. He called her Beautiful, the first boy who ever did and she believed him. His beloved opinion of her mattered above all others. And though she knew
he didn't love her for her looks, she always wanted to look pretty for him.
She loved him.
Still... though fate obviously had other plans.
When the figure on the other end of the glass moved she knew the moment of truth was at hand. Mustering up her courage was always the hardest part when she had to reveal to someone what she's been battling the past eight months of her life. It was like a continuous rendition of the same sad song with no new lyrics or changing melody. Just crying the same tears while expressing why she told so few people about her health problems. And now at the end, the devastating task of saying goodbye.
When the door slowly opened and Kimberly got a good long look at him, she almost wondered which of them were on deaths doorstep. Weary best described the haunted expression he wore. Exhaustion lived in his every step as he was wearing a severe five o'clock shadow. The small smile he attempted to favor her with never quite reached his face. She nonetheless appreciated the attempt. His warm brown eyes swept over her as she feared his appraisal. Still, she knew of only one thing to say to him. Something she'd gotten used to saying to him when they were dating once upon a time. "You're late."
"You're beautiful."
And to think, Kim thought cancer had robbed her of the ability to blush. Leave it to Tommy to remind her just how alive she still was. For that brief moment she didn't feel like a sick patient, but a woman who hadn't taken her last breath yet. He was truly a gift. "Thank you, but you're still late."
Though seemingly impossible, Tommy managed a grin for old times sake. Now if he could only get his feet would move. "After my flight landed I called your mom and she toId me you were sleeping. I decided to get some sleep myself, but when I woke up it was already after the time I said I'd be here."
"You forgot to set your watch, didn't you?"
Same lovely smile, same teasing tone... but she had never looked so pale and fragile before. His heart ached at the sight of her needing a machine to assist her breathing, and the subtle but slightly noticeable slur of her speech. Nonetheless, there was that ever-present strength within her warm brown eyes. "Yeah, I suck. I know."
His voice trembled, and he was on the verge of tears, fighting so hard to maintain his composure. Something smiled inside that he still cared for her so deeply despite breaking his heart. "You actually have to
come over here and sit down, Tommy. I have cancer, not cooties. I promise I won't bite."
Her words made it all the more real. The cold, gnawing pain that gripped his stomach now was the same he felt three days ago when Jason called to inform him that Kim had been battling a cancerous brain
tumor for some time, was dying, and wanted to see him. The entire conversation was surreal beyond belief. As Jason told him everything, he remembered the way his legs gave out and he slumped to the floor against the wall in his living room. There was so much left unfinished between them, even if it were just setting the past aside and being friends. In his heart of hearts he often wondered if fate would have someday grant them another shot at love. Maybe sometime down the line when they were older and wiser.
Now all that he could do was regret all the late night calls he never made, and the long letters he never wrote. Pride and life were the culprits he wanted to blame, when at the end of the day he could only blame himself.
She watched him standing there, staring at her like a ghost. The last thing she ever wanted from him was pity. But she knew that wasn't what he was feeling. Perhaps he too sensed the colossal loss of what might
of been between them. No matter the long miles and emotional distance of recent years, she still felt a deep connection with him. She never forgot her first love. "Please sit down."
Tommy knew that when he did, this would all be real and not just some horrible nightmare he was soon to wake from. But he did as she asked, making the short trek to the right side of her bed. He sat
down slowly, like an old man would, as if he feared the very sound the chair made. He gazed upon his first love, and thus far in his life, the love of it. His amazing Crane, thought of possessively no matter the circumstances. He hadn't prepared what he'd say or how he'd said it. He was sure he'd know the right thing to say when he saw her again.
Kimberly watched him watch her for a short period of time. It was like this for everyone she told recently. Reconciling the woman they knew with the person dying before their eyes now "Hi is still a very nice greeting in most regions of the world, you know."
"I love you."
Sighing softly, Kimberly would have cried if she hadn't already she enough tears for a lifetime. And in her eyes, she had little time left to waste on crying. "I love you too, Tommy. I always have, and always will." She
calmly reached out and claimed his right hand, noting the genuine warmth of his skin against hers. No drug, treatment, or therapy could ever replace that. "I'm sorry you're hearing about this so late in the game. I know you must have allot of questions."
Tommy gave a slow nod, and then exhaled deeply. "Just one. Please tell me there's hope?"
So fate decided that she'd have to break his precious heart all over again. Hers as well. She gave a slow shake of her head, and then gently squeezed his hand. This was always the hardest part of talking about
her illness. "No," she answered with a quiet whisper. She hated the way his brown eyes slipped shut as the painful gravity of it all sank in. Already this week she had given the dreadful news four times. Katherine over the phone from London... Aisha in the dead of night... Rocky and Adam on a three-way call. Zack, Trini, and Jason were already in Florida and were crushed when she delivered the news. Her parents were the hardest where the final diagnosis was concerned. Thankfully, Tommy would be the last. And for her personally, potentially the worse. "The cancerous tumor in my brain is inoperable and growing. Chemotherapy and surgery are no longer options. My doctors have told me I have a few weeks to live. Maybe only a few days. There is no way to accurately predict when I will die. But we know for certain that I will die from this."
Her dire prognosis... spoken with such eloquent grace and acceptance. It was obvious that she had made her peace, all the while he was dying inside. This just couldn't be happening. Not to her. Unable to control his emotions, they suddenly crested and overwhelmed him. For the first time since he were a child, he openly cried in front of another person. He wept for her and the loss of her light in this
world when she was gone. He shed hot tears for the most amazing person who had ever come into his life. "Is there anything I can do? Anything with Zordon or Billy?"
"No," she tearfully replied. "Both have been aware of my situation for months now. There's nothing they can do for me either."
Tommy winced painfully, and then bowed his head. "Zordon never said a thing. Neither did Billy."
"I asked them not too," Kim revealed. "I had my first in a string of seizures eight months ago. That was the tip-off to there being something very wrong with me. When the tumor was discovered I cried for about a week straight, and when my parents arrived I decided to fight. At first I was ready to go to war against my illness, and I only wanted the rest of you guys to know once I had a set plan of action. Then I'd just have to fight my way through it and live. But things took a serious turn for the worst three months ago when the cancer began to spread. My doctors, Zordon, and Billy have fought the good fight against this thing. We've tried surgery, radiation therapy, chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and a combination of those treatments. There is no possibility we haven't exhausted. Tommy, love, I'm so tired... I'm fighting a losing battle and I know that. So the only thing left for me to do is spend time with and say goodbye to all of my loved ones. That's why you're here."
Tommy knew that this was the worst moment of his entire life. "So... So this is it?"
"Yes, I'm afraid." She looked on as he sobbed into his other hand, and then felt wetness cascade down her own cheeks. It seemed she saved her last tears for him. "I don't want to die, Tommy. But I'm going to anyway. I've made my peace with God. Now I'm just trying to do that with everyone else."
Never before had Tommy felt so unheroic. There was no powerful enemy for him to battle this time. No great evil to conquer or impossible quest to go on. No way to steal victory from the jaws of defeat. This was real life, and never had it hit so close to home before. His chest felt as though it were caving in on itself. The world was growing colder by the second and he was powerless to stop it. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
Her deepest personal regret with him came to mind. "You can forgive me for the letter?"
"Kim..."
She stilled a finger against his lips. "Listen, I know there are far more serious things to deal with right now, and I know it was a long time ago. But that doesn't..." she needed to take a deep breath as her body tired so quickly these days. "That doesn't mean I don't want to apologize to you. I just felt so overwhelmed with my training and being so far from home. I mistook..."
"Stop. I don't care." Lifting her frail hand to his mouth, he kissed it softly, and then held her palm to his cheek. "What's done is done. None of us are perfect and I never hated you. People fall in and out of love everyday. I forgive you, even though there is really nothing to forgive. We're all human, Kim. The letter is old news."
"But I broke your heart."
"Everyone deals with that at some point. I've moved past it." He paused briefly, once more gazing into her eyes. "And I still love you."
He didn't elaborate if he meant romantically or just as friends. Truthfully, the latter would have been fine. But within his eyes she saw so much more. They had genuine potential, her and Tommy. If only they had
time... "Are you happy?"
Tommy understood the nature of her question, and then tenderly kissed her hand again. "My life's really different these days. I'm racing with my uncle's team and finally enjoying retirement from the Rangers. I honestly don't have any complaints. I'm doing really good."
That was music to her ears. "And your love life?" she smiled, genuinely enjoying his modest embarrassment. "If you can't tell your ex-girlfriend, who can you tell?"
There was his teasing, flirtatious Kim. Her spirit was far from broken. "I'm single, but not really dating. These days I just don't have time. My training at the race track tends to last all day and after that I'm wiped out."
"I still can't believe you're going after a career in professional racing. I would have sworn you would be teaching the martial arts full-time by now."
"I still may someday," he said, and then winced when he worried about discussing the future. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for. It comforts me to know my loved ones will be living their lives to the fullest and moving on. Knowing that helps me get through the tough nights."
Tommy just had to ask, "Seriously, how do you feel?"
She appreciated that he wasn't treating her with the kid gloves. He wanted to know things, and not just talk about the good Ole days. With him she didn't need to sugar coat the truth. "As you can imagine, some days are better than others. The drugs keep me a little loopy, which I hate. The pain sometimes is terrible." She saw nothing but the deepest compassion written all over his face. "My breathing isn't so good these days. And my vision tends to get kinda blurry sometimes. And I know you noticed the flutter in my voice. Don't even get me started on the headaches. They're so bad sometimes they make me cry. All in all though, ever since I received my final prognosis, I strangely feel better. I'm at peace with things now. I have fought as hard as I could fight and now its all in God's hands."
"So you're not afraid to die?"
"How could I be when I've truly lived," she smiled brightly. "I may be young, but I was part of a team of super heroes who saved the world on a daily basis. I piloted cool robots, flew through space, time traveled, visited alternate dimensions, other planets, met aliens, and was even trapped in a boys body for a whole day. I think I've lived a pretty damn good life. I have a ton of loved ones, so that's my evidence that I mattered to people. I'm more worried about those I leave behind than myself."
Her courage astounded him. Her grace captivated him. And her beautiful heart... she was still the woman he loved. "That is a pretty darn cool life."
"And I dated the handsome super hero team's leader," she winked as they shared a soft laugh. "He was my best kisser."
"And you were mine."
Feeling better simply because of his presence, Kimberly lifted her hand away from his and then turned to the opposite side of her bed. She retrieved something from a nearby purse, and then reached for his
hand again. "I want you to have this."
Tommy felt the coolness of the Pink Power coin against the center of his palm. When Katherine's time was done she sent it back to its original owner. And now this. "Kim, you don't have to..."
"Please," she began as a single tear descended her cheek. "I want you to remember me when I fought by your side. When I was strong and powerful. When I was your Beautiful. That's how I want you to remember me when I'm gone. Not like this, lying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines. Remember me when we soared through the clouds. Your Falcon to my Crane."
His fist tightly clutched the coin as fresh tears trailed down his face. This truly was goodbye. "I will always cherish this. And I will never forget you."
"Oh, I'm going to make sure of that, Mr. Oliver. I fully intend to haunt you for the next fifty years."
Not even staring death in her face could steal her razor sharp wit. He couldn't help but to laugh. "So, you're going to be my personal ghost?"
"Yep. So you better get used to having me around. And I will be pushing things over and turning on lights and all that cool ghosty stuff just to mess with you."
"Wouldn't you like to enjoy the after life?" he joked.
"Maybe I always wanted to be with you. So I'll still get what I want. In a manner of speaking," she yawned deeply as her body began to tire.
"You need your rest." Tommy rose to leave when he felt Kimberly's hand squeeze around his.
"I need two things from you."
"Name it?"
Kimberly gazed upon his handsome features for what she knew was the last time. All that he had ever meant to her flashed before her very eyes. Their innocent attraction at the beginning, their dates, first kisses and fantastic adventures. And now, at the end, goodbye. Her voice trembled before she spoke. "Do not ever come back here, Tommy. I don't want you to see me like this again. This isn't the real me. Its not how I see myself, okay."
Nodding, Tommy knew that the next time he laid eyes on her would be at her funeral. Despite his devastating heartache, he would abide by her wishes always. "I'll do as you ask."
She exhaled, grateful that he didn't fight her on this. "And lastly..."
Tommy listened closely to her final request, so private and personal, dealing with something she'll never be able to do. Something she only wanted him to do for her. He was touched that she would ask only him for this, and when she finished he brushed a tear from his eyes. "Are you sure you want me to do..."
"Yes. Only you. Please."
"Done," he replied softly, vowing that he will keep his promise.
"Thank you."
"But I want something as well."
"Anything."
"A goodbye kiss."
She smiled wider than she thought she was capable of anymore. And yet again, she blushed. "I thought you'd never ask."
They shared a final, tender kiss that lingered just a little longer than either had planned, but was exactly what both needed. This was the sum of their lives and all that they had ever meant to each other... spanning heartbeats with a final goodbye. Tommy saw how exhausted she was and only let her hand go at the absolute last second. He began backing towards the door, his heart lodged in his throat at the finality of it all. "I don't know what to say."
Kimberly smiled at him. "I know you probably have a million and one things you want to say, but just tell me you love me again. Leave out all the rest."
"I love you, Kim."
"Goodbye, Tommy. I love you too."
******
The End
Leave Out All The Rest
by Linkin Park
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what i made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that i've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting / all the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending / someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
