Post by shawn30 on Jul 30, 2008 18:50:15 GMT -5
Is your love life slowing down?
Are you looking at the other side of your bed at night and seeing a pet or just empty space?
Do you want to change that?
Let me help!
Hello, lonely earthings. My name is Shawn and for small fee I promise to give you a fool proof plan to find someone hot that will not include kidnapping, drugging someone, or blackmail. Now my attorney asked me to say that if my methods don't work, while I don't condone those actions, some of you may still need to use them. But since I promise to provide you with a 100%... no, 1000% plan on getting someone hot you will never need to resort to a life of crime.
Sure, Cathy met her husband through a prison dating service, but everyone won't turn out so lucky. Yeah, okay, so Terra joined a biker gang to meet men and got lucky. That might not be you. But for the low, low price of $55.00 per day I will help you find love, happiness, great sex, world peace, and eternal life.
AM I PROMISING TO MUCH?!!!
NOPE!
CAUSE I INTEND TO DELIVER!
It was Jade_Max who said to me once, "Shawn, the key to getting someone hot these days is to lie about everything and hope the other person never finds out. And using a gun never hurt either." Brilliant author she is, but relationship expert she is not!
So today S.H.A.W.N Inc (Sexy Honest Amazing Women's Network) will give you the keys to success in four short steps. They are...
Best Pick-Up Lines Ever!!!!
You ever see a hot person and just don't know what to say? Try these on for size.
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
You know what would look great on you? Me.
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.
I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
No honestly, what man or woman could resist those lines? No one I know, that's for sure. But to seal the deal, I have included for no additional cost a pair of Kim's award winning, easy to use, F.D.A and Vatican approved "Invisible Hypnotic Shades."
Here is a picture of the shades as modeled by Kim's cat "Matrix"
Wearing these invisble shades will instanly make every man and woman you meet look hot. So even if they aren't, they are! Imgaine your odds of walking away with someone hot when you walk into a bar or club and suddenly EVERYONES HOT!!
Results are similar to the following:
Without the shades a guy may look like this:
Or This:
But once you put on Pink-Green-White-4ever's trademarked "IHS" every guy will look as hot as this:
And this:
And lonely guys, fear not! Say you go to your cousins Bar-B-Que or prison homecoming or birthday party: Say that theres only one pretty girl there out of 50. But once you put these shades on all of them will go from this:
To this:
Yes, Kim's shades are that good, that invisible and that hypnotic. But that's not all. Oh no, that is not all at all. See, we want you to not only find someone hot, but actually have a conversation with them and get to know them.
"But Shawn, what if they are with someone already? What then?"
I'm glad you asked, nameless, faceless, voiceless person. S.H.A.W.N. Inc, in association with "The Foundation of Chris Angelo Zootorioum" offer with my exciting program 3 free Jedi trained squirells to look after, protect, and keep you safe while you search for that special hot someone. In addition to being a great author, artist, fry cook, street mime, crash test dummy, and door-to-door soap salesmen, Chris trains squirells in his spare time to protet and serve using the Force as displayed below.:
BUT THATS NOT ALL!!
THIS IS SUCH A VALUE!!!
ITS IIINNNSSSAAAANNNEEE!!!
To top things off, I will give you this non-money back gurantee that if you don't find someone hot within 72 hours of this broadcast you cannot badmouth myself, my company, or the Peoples Republic of China where we are stationed.
The 4th peice of our puzzle is what I feel I can personally give to each and every one of you lonely people out there. INSPIRATION!!!!
With this program I will give you a self-writen, self-typed, self-autograghed copy of my new book "Shawn Loves Me, and That's Enough For Me." In it, I share my wit and wisdom of the ages on all things I am very well versed in. Things like...
EVERYTHING!!!
So, if you are sad, lonely and considering doing something drastic like this:
Or find yourself so bored with life you start researching things like this
Or feel that the last time you really made a love connection with someone was this:
You really need my help... before you shoot yourself!!!
FIND SOMEONE HOT!! FIND THEM NOW!!! ALL OPERATORS ARE WAITING!!
I take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, personal check, travelers checks, Chekov from Star Trek, the Cheq Republic, Yen, Peso's, food stamps, WiC, A Link card, and other items of worth... I do not take I.O.U's!!!!
Is tonight your final lonely night ever!! PICK UP THAT PHONE AND DIAL 1 899 -696-6969
Thank you
S
"Helping lonely people one broken heart at a time...."
Are you looking at the other side of your bed at night and seeing a pet or just empty space?
Do you want to change that?
Let me help!
Hello, lonely earthings. My name is Shawn and for small fee I promise to give you a fool proof plan to find someone hot that will not include kidnapping, drugging someone, or blackmail. Now my attorney asked me to say that if my methods don't work, while I don't condone those actions, some of you may still need to use them. But since I promise to provide you with a 100%... no, 1000% plan on getting someone hot you will never need to resort to a life of crime.
Sure, Cathy met her husband through a prison dating service, but everyone won't turn out so lucky. Yeah, okay, so Terra joined a biker gang to meet men and got lucky. That might not be you. But for the low, low price of $55.00 per day I will help you find love, happiness, great sex, world peace, and eternal life.
AM I PROMISING TO MUCH?!!!
NOPE!
CAUSE I INTEND TO DELIVER!
It was Jade_Max who said to me once, "Shawn, the key to getting someone hot these days is to lie about everything and hope the other person never finds out. And using a gun never hurt either." Brilliant author she is, but relationship expert she is not!
So today S.H.A.W.N Inc (Sexy Honest Amazing Women's Network) will give you the keys to success in four short steps. They are...
Best Pick-Up Lines Ever!!!!
You ever see a hot person and just don't know what to say? Try these on for size.
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!
I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
You know what would look great on you? Me.
Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.
I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
No honestly, what man or woman could resist those lines? No one I know, that's for sure. But to seal the deal, I have included for no additional cost a pair of Kim's award winning, easy to use, F.D.A and Vatican approved "Invisible Hypnotic Shades."
Here is a picture of the shades as modeled by Kim's cat "Matrix"
Wearing these invisble shades will instanly make every man and woman you meet look hot. So even if they aren't, they are! Imgaine your odds of walking away with someone hot when you walk into a bar or club and suddenly EVERYONES HOT!!
Results are similar to the following:
Without the shades a guy may look like this:
Or This:
But once you put on Pink-Green-White-4ever's trademarked "IHS" every guy will look as hot as this:
And this:
And lonely guys, fear not! Say you go to your cousins Bar-B-Que or prison homecoming or birthday party: Say that theres only one pretty girl there out of 50. But once you put these shades on all of them will go from this:
To this:
Yes, Kim's shades are that good, that invisible and that hypnotic. But that's not all. Oh no, that is not all at all. See, we want you to not only find someone hot, but actually have a conversation with them and get to know them.
"But Shawn, what if they are with someone already? What then?"
I'm glad you asked, nameless, faceless, voiceless person. S.H.A.W.N. Inc, in association with "The Foundation of Chris Angelo Zootorioum" offer with my exciting program 3 free Jedi trained squirells to look after, protect, and keep you safe while you search for that special hot someone. In addition to being a great author, artist, fry cook, street mime, crash test dummy, and door-to-door soap salesmen, Chris trains squirells in his spare time to protet and serve using the Force as displayed below.:
BUT THATS NOT ALL!!
THIS IS SUCH A VALUE!!!
ITS IIINNNSSSAAAANNNEEE!!!
To top things off, I will give you this non-money back gurantee that if you don't find someone hot within 72 hours of this broadcast you cannot badmouth myself, my company, or the Peoples Republic of China where we are stationed.
The 4th peice of our puzzle is what I feel I can personally give to each and every one of you lonely people out there. INSPIRATION!!!!
With this program I will give you a self-writen, self-typed, self-autograghed copy of my new book "Shawn Loves Me, and That's Enough For Me." In it, I share my wit and wisdom of the ages on all things I am very well versed in. Things like...
EVERYTHING!!!
So, if you are sad, lonely and considering doing something drastic like this:
Or find yourself so bored with life you start researching things like this
Or feel that the last time you really made a love connection with someone was this:
You really need my help... before you shoot yourself!!!
FIND SOMEONE HOT!! FIND THEM NOW!!! ALL OPERATORS ARE WAITING!!
I take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, personal check, travelers checks, Chekov from Star Trek, the Cheq Republic, Yen, Peso's, food stamps, WiC, A Link card, and other items of worth... I do not take I.O.U's!!!!
Is tonight your final lonely night ever!! PICK UP THAT PHONE AND DIAL 1 899 -696-6969
Thank you
S
"Helping lonely people one broken heart at a time...."
*just kidding* lol.
)
