Do you need to join A.A.?

[shawn30]

*deep sigh as Shawn walks into a small room, ten chairs placed in a circle. Terra, Cathy, Kim, Angela, Liz and a few others are present*

"And your name is?" Cathy, moderator asks.

"I'm Shawn. And I'm addicted to Power Rangers. I want to join Angelgroveaholic Anonymous. I need A.A."

"Welcome Shawn," the small crowd chanted, standing to thier feet and offering him hugs and brownies.

"I... I pawned my mother's TV for Power Rangers: The Movie memorabilia," Shawn said, his head held low. "I spent last month's rent money on a JDF signed Saba Sword Replica. I've been taking up sewing in my spare time to create my own vintage Power Ranger uniform."

Terra wept in her hands before adding, "I broke my childs piggy bank to pay for front row seats at a Amy Jo Johnson concert. And once when a Power Rangers episode aired on TV and Tommy had his short off, I DVD'r it and then paused the picture and licked the screen. I'm so ashamed."

Kim stood next, tears trailing down her face. "I craweld under barbed wire fences to illegaly enter Mexico because the first Power Rangers seasons 1 - 3 DVD's came out there first. I treked twenty miles on foot, converted my American money into Pesos, went without food for six day so that I could have DVD quality TKness on my television."

Cathy nodded, understanding all to well the powerful addiction that was Power Rangers. "Once, while making love to my husband I asked him to call me Syd and I was going to call him Sky. He thought it was pretty cool due to how much I was into it until I started wanting to role play Tommy and Kim - Then Wes and Jen - Then Buffy and Angel. By the time a month rolled by he said I hadn't used his real name in weeks. I told Sky... I mean my husband that I love him."

Angela put her coffefe down and stood next, ready to reveal her tale of woe. With a trembling voice she spoke, "I legally changed my name to Kimberly Ann Hart-Oliver. My family doesn't know anything about it. I've started a petition in my city to have its name offcially changed to Angel Grove. I have the word 'Zord' on my license plate. I only date men named Tommy!!! I NEED HELP!"

Liz raised her hand next, sniffling a little. "I made a makeshift Command Center in my basement with Christmas lights and old computers. I pay homeless people to dress up like Putties and I beat them up in parking lots. I tell them if they talk gibberish and jump around like they are retarded that I'll buy them all McDonalds when I'm done kicking them. I BEAT UP HOMELESS PEOPLE!!"

Shawn placed his hand over his heart, tearing up again. "I can't live like this anymore. I tried to break up a purse snatching in front of a currency exchange and when the robber was in front of me I shouted "Its Morphing Time." He proceeded to kick my ass and laugh at me at the same time. I used to wear a fake pony tail crazy glued to my scalp cause I wanted to be like Tommy. "

Cathy held on to a crying Terra and revealed, "When a group of kids dressed up like Putties on Halloween my mind snapped when they came to my front door. I started screaming "Aim for the Z"and began swatting at them with a spatula. I got arrested that night."

Terra confided, "When I got to the casino I wear my ear phones and play a constant loop of "I will Win" and Go Green Ranger Go" for luck. I am that far gone."

Kim interrupted while wiping her eyes, "I kidnapped the actor who plays Sky from SPD. I keep him locked away in my basement ala Silence of the Lambs. The Feds are coming for me... iseedeadpeople!!!"

The group sort of moved away rom Kim at that point, but kept crying.

Cathy looked to the others... "Does any one else have anything to share? Only by sharing can we beat this addiction."

[~*Cathy*~]

LMFAO! *holds sides which hurt from laughing*

I really, really love you Shawn. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLZ

And I've nothing to add; you pretty much hit my low points. *hangs head*

[Kim]

I laughed so hard I spit sprite out my nose, peed my pants, and fell out of my chair.....the last part had me laughing my ass off the most....but it's not my basement, he's at my aunt's house since I live in an apartment and have no basement. She let's me sneak up there once a week to shag him silly. *winks* You certainly cheered me up Handsome! I appreciate it!

[.liz]

*chants* More, more , more!

:'D Ohh.. boy.. It's hard to type when you're laughing as hard as I am..

[shawn30]

Cathy calls to order next weeks meeting of Angelgroveaholics Anonymous. "Okay everyone. Last week we shared our bad times. But this week I want to hear about the steps you've taken to fight your addiction. Kim, you begin."

Exhaling a deep breath, Kim stood from her chair. "Since releasing Chris from my basement, I've felt better about my addiction. I'm still keeping him ankle-shackled in my living room, but he's geeting closer to the front door each day. By the new year I hope to have him shackled to my screen door. I really do feel I'm getting better. Thank you."

Cathy nodded. "Okaaayy. Terra, you're next."

Terra stood to her feet and sighed. "I no longer steal from my children's piggy banks in order feed my Power Ranger addiction. I just make small little loans from their college funds that I have every intention of repaying to purchase things I truly need, like Amy Jo Johnson's dresses from season one of Power Rangers and a authentic chair from the Youth Center stage. I plan on having the drivers side seat of my car removed and that chair placed in its spot. And I refrained from licking my TV during shirtless Tommy scenes... for the most part."

"Progress is progress, dear Terra." Cathy clapped for her, and then added, "Shawn, how about you?"

Shawn lowered his head in shame. "Yet again I tried to fight crime as a power ranger, Cathy. I put on my authtentic White Ranger outfit from the first movie that I bought with the funds from pawning my moms TV. I drove my car, wearing the helmet mind you, into a bad part of town and found three people attempting to steal a car. When I leapt from the car and shouted "You guys are cruising for a bruising" the coolest line I could think of, they began laughing so hard at me, calling me a grown man in a power ranger outfit without so much as a knife in my hand. They asked me what I was going to do to them, call my Ford Zord, as I was driving a Ford pick up at the time. When I attempted to arrrest them I had not counted on the helmet restricting so much of my periphial vision. I was very un-Tommy like in delivering a wild roundhouse kick that hit a light pole instead of one of the car theives. Then they sicked their dog on me and it peed on my leg, and then when a cop drove up the guys said I was on crack and trying to steal that car. I tried to plead my case, but in my White Ranger outfit I looked like more of a threat than the three guys. I was arrested but my sis Kim bailed me out of jail. Thanks sis"

"Its cool, bro. Your shackles keep my Chris nearby, so I owed you one."

"Yay for crime, I guess," Cathy noted. "Moving right along, Liz dear. What about you?"

"Sadly, I too have struggled with kicking my additcion," Liz informed the group. "I have continued to beat up homeless people I bribe with sandwiches who dress up like the Putty Patrol. There's just something about the snap of my foot hitting a homeles guy in the head that's so satsfying. I know I'm a horrible person, but after I beat them they eat their sandwhiches and ask if they can do it again tommarow. Then I freaked my parents out by buuilding a huge glass tube in my bedroom and paying a friend to smoke into it. I drew a face in the back of the glass and talked to Zordon for hours about fashion and boys and pop sickles. My therapist says I need a combination of drugs, but I think she just needs to talk to Zordon."

Cathy simply nodded. "Okay then. Angela, tell us what you've been up too?"

"Its not Angela, its Kimberly Ann Hart-Oliver. Ahem, I have dated a Tommy, Tim, Thomas, Tod, Tome, Ty, Toleda, Tess, and Tashawn in the last five days, so I'm feeling like some progress is being made. Sure, all of them wore pony tails, had hot bods, were into martial arts, had bad memories, couldn't dance, and wore either green or white colors. But they all weren't named Tommy, so that's something. In addition, the hole I have been digging underneath JDf's home that leads to his backyard is almost complete and ..." *Angela saw Kim making a throat-cutting move* "Not that it has anything to do with kidnapping becasue it does not And that was said especially loud for any federal agents listening in on this group discussion. I don't like kidnapping, nor do I condone it in any way no matter how hot JDF is. Thank you."

"Kidnapping is not good," Cathy added, and then stood herself. "As for me, I haven't fought any children lately and I am at least calling my husband him, so I'm close to calling him his real name again." The members of the group all clapped. "I'm currently preparing for an audition on American Idol and concetrating my professional street mime career." The members clapped agin, cheering until Cathy broke down in tears and began ranting. "Oh I CAN'T DO THIS! ITS ALL A LIE! I'VE BEEN BUILDING A ZORD OUT OF MY KIDS TOYS IN OUR BACKYARD AND WATCHING THE EPISODE WHERE KIM WRITES TOMMY THE LETTER ON MUTE WHILE LISTENING TO SAD SADE MUSIC IN A CANDLE-LIT ROOM ALL BY MYSELF. I'VE BEEN WHORING MY DOG OUT TO OTHER DOGS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD FOR POWER RANGERS POSTERS. I'M A DOG PIMP! I NEED HELP! CAN SOMEBODY LEND ME A DOLLAR! DID BARRACK GET ELECTED YET! TERRADACTLY! SABERTOOTH TIGER!! TYRANASAROUS!!"

Everyone slowly backed out of the room.

Yep, it was one of those days.

[~*Cathy*~]

LMAO!

Oh, we are sad, strange people, aren't we? LOL

[enigmaforum]

Megan would like to know if she can join this group...I feel alone and its making me want to relapse.

And HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I have seriously just LAUGHED my ass off and have not done so in FOREVER. HAHAHAHA.

Now..*starts humming the mystic force theme and plotting revenge against fangirls*

[Kim]

Pssss Shawn *waves her brother over* Don't let Megan anywhere near Tasers or Waterballoons during the meeting! She has really bad aim, and if she's going after the stuck on stupid fangirls, and we all know none of them reside in our group, she's liable to hit one of us instead in her Green Mystic Ranger induced haze. But you didn't hear it from me, Okay?

[lilsmiles]

OMG... ROFL!!!!!!!!! ;D

BWAHAHAHA... Owww, Shawn my sides hurt... That was too funny!!!!

[nm4ever]

*continues digging, checking over her shoulder to make sure no one's coming* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm this close! *holds thumb and pointer finger very close together*

Yes, Kim is right! Megan has VERY bad aim and personally, I don't want to get hit with a water balloon and then hit with a taser, as I'd be screwed! So yeah, let her go take care of the crazy fangirls, but don't tell her what either of us said!

[Terra]

* Dont touch there money, dont touch there money*

"Oh is that Tommy's shirt he wore on Green No More, wonder how much I can get it for,"... *ponders what I will bid on ebay for it, my oldest college tution will be gone soon.*

LMAO, Shawn you are tooo funny!!! This makes me side hurt from laughing so damn much.

The next thing you need to sit down and write is HOW we all kidnap JDF.... cause Angela (I mean Kimberly Ann Hart-Oliver.. is CANT do it alone, we wont let her....damnit I want my time with JDF TOOO!!!!!!!!! lmao

[nm4ever]

I can kidnap him by myself! *ponders the whole process seriously* Actually, I may need a few of you to help me, but you can't say ANYthing at all, okay? It's our little secret.....

Terra, I'm sorry, my dear, but Angela....I mean, Kim wants him all to herself. However, you may come over and ogle at him all you wish! I can even take pictures of him for you to set as your computer desktop so that way you don't have to lick your TV screen anymore. *grins* Oops, I'm not helping your addiction at all, am I? Oh well!

[lilsmiles]

Dear Mrs. Hart-Oliver,

We have been informed by a secret informant about your plans to kidnap your husband. Please accept our complementary gift of pantyhose and blindfold. We hope that the quality is up to your satisfaction and thank you again for being such a loyal customer.

Sincerely,
Team Acme

[rapunzl]

As the resident law school student/pre-lawyer, I'd better start researching defenses for the inevitable day I'll be bailing you guys out of jail, huh?

[Kim]

*nods* Rapunzl, I think that day may come sooner than you think.....Chris is getting awfully close to the door these days, and may eventually escape *looks saddened by that thought* Alas, I may need your counsel soon

[rapunzl]

I don't suppose you would be above the "insanity" defense, would you?

[Kim]

I'm not above anything that keeps me out of prision orange! Do I need to start acting like I think I'm a power ranger and can call on the Ninjetti powers to morph? I can do that, no problem. *winks* We're so giving Shawn more ammo for this story, it's hilarious

[rapunzl]

"You see, Your Honor, my client firmly believes she is a Power Ranger. As a Ranger, she recognized the victim, a Mr. Chris Violette, as the character Sky Tate, the blue S.P.D. Power Ranger. Believing that Sky had been brainwashed by Emperor Gruumm, she did the only thing she could do: offer him a secure place to hide until the effects wore off... which just happened to be in her home. The fact that he continued to struggle against her aid merely strengthened her belief that Gruumm had altered his memories."

Well, that might get one of you off... if you like comfy white jackets... ;D

[nm4ever]

*nods with Kim* I'm not above pleading insanity. I haven't kidnapped JDF............yet. *smiles innocently* He's still safe in his house while I work and plan to make sure that I can get him without a hitch. So yeah, it's safe to say that we'll be needing your help, Rapunzl.

I know the jackets are white, so they're pretty, but I don't like the way they look. They're kinda ugly.........hmmmmm. LOL. Yes, we are having way too much fun with this!

[Kim]

Can I decorate mine with Pink and Blue things before you put me in it? *looks up with Puppy dog eyes* And Yeah! SKY WAS BRAINWASHED BY GRUUMM!!!!!!!!

[rapunzl]

Hmmm... we need something that would cause a mass delusion... how about spiked Kimonade!

Now we just need an aspiring psychologist in the house...

I wonder how much it'd take for me to bribe my little sister... she's in a psych grad program.

[tia]

You werent kidding when you said you were crazy on here
Oh, I volunteer as the aspiring psychologist since I have a degree in it.

[rapunzl]

Sweet! Expert witness! Thanks Tia!

Okay, you guys are all set. Kidnap as you like.

*ahem* I mean... kidnapping is wrong, and as an officer of the court, I can't advise you continue such actions.

... but... if you're going to do it anyhow... can I come visit the cuteness??

[Jade_Max]

Jul 10, 2008 12:02:56 GMT -5 rapunzl said:

... but... if you're going to do it anyhow... can I come visit the cuteness??

I'll second that!

[nm4ever]

Jul 10, 2008 5:10:05 GMT -5 tia said:

You werent kidding when you said you were crazy on here

HEY! I resent that! They were sane, ya know, once upon a time. *thinks back to those days* I know I'm normal, I just happen to spaz and turn into Kim at the right moments and she has her fun until I turn back to my happy-go-lucky, normal self. *grins happily*

[nm4ever]

Jul 7, 2008 18:40:57 GMT -5 Kim said:

Can I decorate mine with Pink and Blue things before you put me in it? *looks up with Puppy dog eyes* And Yeah! SKY WAS BRAINWASHED BY GRUUMM!!!!!!!!

*ponders* Are you SURE he was brainwashed by Gruumm? I don't know. Methinks that you put together some Kimonade with some Jose Cuervo, or any other alcoholic beverage of your choice, somehow managed to slip it to Sky and he drank it, not knowing what it was. Then he ended up hunting you down and begged you to chain him up and never let him go. And you, being the wonderful, nice, sweet, awesome, loving person that you are, happily agreed to do so. I mean, I know I would! But now that the alcohol's worn off, he thinks that he was brainwashed. Tsk tsk tsk! You're gonna have to let him go sometime, dear.

[Kim]

Says who? I don't have to let him go if he doesn't want to be let go...or if I don't wanna let him go *pouts, croses her arms over her chest and then sits on the floor in front of her front door*

[tia]

Jul 15, 2008 19:55:25 GMT -5 nm4ever said:

Jul 10, 2008 5:10:05 GMT -5 tia said:

You werent kidding when you said you were crazy on here

HEY! I resent that! They were sane, ya know, once upon a time. *thinks back to those days* I know I'm normal, I just happen to spaz and turn into Kim at the right moments and she has her fun until I turn back to my happy-go-lucky, normal self. *grins happily*

Happy grins are the first sign of craziness and I don't care if that's even a word

[nm4ever]

Jul 17, 2008 16:20:33 GMT -5 tia said:

Jul 15, 2008 19:55:25 GMT -5 nm4ever said:

HEY! I resent that! They were sane, ya know, once upon a time. *thinks back to those days* I know I'm normal, I just happen to spaz and turn into Kim at the right moments and she has her fun until I turn back to my happy-go-lucky, normal self. *grins happily*

Happy grins are the first sign of craziness and I don't care if that's even a word

Okay, yes craziness is a word!

And no, happy grins are not the first sign of craziness! I'm VERY normal, thank you very much! It's just that Kim tends to take control whenever she wants and she does whatever she wants until I get control back, see? It's really weird and hard, I know.

Jade and Rapunzl, you may both come and visit him, but you have to help me get him first, because it's not gonna be easy. We'll have to figure out something for you two to do, okay? *grins* Yes, you can come and visit him, but he's Kim's/mine!

[chrisangelo]

*breathes heavy and jumps out behind a dark corner, eyes driven with craze*

KIM IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*will gladly shove Tommy in a trashbag, throw him into a car, drive 125 mph, and sale him on the black market, just to get Kimberly Ann Hart!*

*blankly stares at everyone in the room, and points finger at himself*

Mine.

Mine.

MINE!