Forever in your eyes

[princess]

hey everyone i thought i would post one of my SydSky fanfics here

Syd stood in front of her nirror staring at herself she was wearing a white silk wedding gown her vail was braided into her hair She couldn't believe it today she would be charging her name from Sydney Drew to Sydney Tate just then there was a knock on the door the doors open in walked Z her best friend then

Z: oh my god

Syd: what

Z: you look amazing

Syd: really

Z: he will be blwon away

Syd: really

Z: yeah

Syd: i am so happy

Z: i am happy for you

Syd: i can't believe today is the day

Z: Sky is one lucky man

Syd: you really think so

Z: yeah

Syd: i am so scared yet so happy

Z: you are marrying the man who has loved you forever

Syd: i know

Z: so you ready to marry him

Syd: yeah i am ready to be his wife

Z: good

just then the priest knocked on the door told them she had 5 minutes Z helped Syd pull her vail down over her face they walked out of the room and took their places when the doors opened to the church Syd took her father's arm as Z made her way down the aile then everyone stood as Syd made her way to stand next to Sky and

Sky: i am so happy

Syd: me too

Sky: ready to do this

Syd; yeah i am

They both turned to the priest as he watched the two young people standing in front of him and

Priest: we are gathered here today to join this couple in love and promise so if anyone as reason these two should not marry speak now or forever hold your peace

Priest: since no one said anything, we will begin with the vows Sky and Syd have written Sky you first

Sky: Sydney i have dreamed of the day i would met a girl who would forever change my life i met her the day i met you when you joined SPD, i am the luckiest guy in the world to have you as my future wife i am in love with you always and i see forever in your eyes so with this ring i thee wed.

Sky Took Syd's hand slipped the while silver band on her firger as the tears fell down her face then

Priest: Now Syd

Syd: i have dreamed of the day when i would find the guy who would make me a better person, as a little girl i wanted a guy who would love me forever now i have found my prince, my love, my heart, my vow in you and i see forever in your eyes too with this ring i thee wed

Syd took Sky's hand in hers slipped the gold band on his firger as her tears fell down her face she looks up at Sky.

More to come

AN- this story came off of Chris violette site, My user name is SkySydfan24

[Kim]

Okay…hmmm…

Well, first of all, I love the idea of them getting married, but to be honest, I can’t really get around a lot of the mechanical problems with the story. You’re set up is like a play or a script, which isn’t a bad thing, but there’s no description, there’s really no substance to the story. Grammar is pretty non existent.

A few suggestions? Get a beta reader, someone who can help with the grammar mechanics, punctuation, etc. You may also want to look into a different style of writing the story, steering away from the script/play layout. To be honest, that type of layout for a story really doesn’t do much, especially in interesting readers to keep reading. Better descriptions of the surroundings, while not going overboard on them, might help you. Also, delving a little deeper into the characters and not using so much dialogue.

The potential is there, you just have to nurture it. I suggest reading your favorite Syd and Sky stories and see how those authors did things, then tailor them to your story. Cat’s got a butt load of great stories on It’s All In The Chemistry, use them as reference points.

[nm4ever]

Okay. While this was a pretty good idea, there are things that do need to be changed on it. There are grammar and spelling mistakes, which do happen. I would suggest a beta reader to look it over for you, or maybe someone that you know that knows the characters and is willing to do it.

Kim pretty much said it all. It's a great idea, and there is potential. Just give it some time to grow. I've found, like she said, that reading other people's fics, is a great idea. It helps to give me some more insight to the characters that perhaps I didn't see. I agree with Kim also about Cathy having a LOT of fics up on her site for Syd and Sky. I also suggest reading Kim's fics that have been posted here as well, if you haven't yet read them. They're great!

[sydneydrew59]

I agree with you guys, I'm also looking for a beta, if someone would like to do be my beta, please contact me at [e-mail]